I am dating a boy from New Jersey. How in the world a southern belle like me fell in love with the typical Jersey boy is still something Mike and I laugh about, but it happened. I watched The Real Housewive of New Jersey this season, and I am here to tell y'all, this stuff is real!
Mike and I met through mutual friends. My roommate was friends with his roommate, and both these roommates were from SOUTH Alabama. I just assumed that Mike was also from the South. He didn't ever have the eye swoop haircut that many southern boys have, but he went to University of Alabama, and how would you get there if you were from up North? Although he told me he was born in New Jersey, and that his entire extended family still lives there, it really didn't phase me. I had never been to visit the Garden State, but seriously, what could be so different? Oh there are differences. The first red flag was when he picked me up for our first date. He was super cute, dressed to a tee, and you could tell he was very nervous. I gave him a tour of our house, introduced him to my three roommates and then we headed to his car. I knew my roommates were watching from the upstairs window; a routine we practiced when any roommate was taken out by a new suitor.
First mistake. Mike did NOT OPEN THE CAR DOOR FOR ME! I stood outside waiting, and realized he was already inside with the car on. "Oooh, I thought." I am going to hear about this later. We had a lovely dinner and he later dropped me off. I think the roughest patch we had was during out first year of dating. While most couples are going through that lovey-dovey infatuation phase, I was trying to figure out if the things Mike was saying to me were really "just joking" or if he was meaning to hurt my feelings. I can't recall any of the comments, but I stuck through it. I grew up with no brothers for goodness sakes! I don't what to do when people start teasing me! Even this summer, Mike's father said to me, "OH! She can take a joke!" Yes, I can take one, I just have to know when it is being offered!
If you have been watching the New Jersey Housewives, you may remember that they are all Italian, and have this "blood is thicker than water" mentality. I was never physically nervous that Mike's family wouldn't like me until I started watching the show 6 years after we started dating! Mike's mother is 100% Italian and she is phenomenal. She cooks, she cleans and she takes care of her family like it is nobody's business. When Mike and I started taking trips together, he would ask me to pack his suitcase, or pick out his outfits. WHAT?? I had never heard of this before. My feminist side was screaming that this was completely out of character, and most of the time the request led to a fight. Now, I do pick out his clothes when he asks because, let's be honest, he can't really dress himself! (sorry babe.)
Another thing that is serious in the Italian, New Jersey family is cooking. Oh lord. Maybe that gives you some insight into why I have been trying to be "Top Chef" since I moved in. Half the time the things we eat are acknowledged this way. "I really like it, but it isn't really like my mom's...." So I call up "mama" and get the recipe. I figure that is the easiest way to deal with it. Only a few months ago, a received a letter in the mail from Mrs. C. Inside was the "secret family sauce" that traces back to Southern Italy, or "The Old Country." This was a BIG step in our relationship!
After I saw the Housewive's episode where one of the females FLIPPED a table, I called Mike in a panic and asked if anyone in his family had ever done that. "NO!" he says. "That show is over the top!" "Really?" I asked, "because it sure seemed normal for the people involved up there! They said everyone flips a table once or twice in their life!!"
I have now been to Jersey for 2 weddings, which were incredible. Beautiful and elegant, probably two of the nicest I have ever been to. However, it was the experience of being in the state that was tough for me to handle. I bought a shirt that said, "New Jersey: Only the Strong Survive" but Mike wouldn't let me wear it because he said people would probably throw things at me. WHAT? Where was I going? Both times we went to visit, it was winter, with snow on the ground. (You know I am not used to that!!) As soon as we got out of the airport, the inner Jerseyness of Mike's family was no longer dormant. Accents and phrases came out that I have never heard before...I wish you could hear them. "Pain in the Ass" is a time honored one. Additionally, we are weaving in and out of traffic, while people scream and honk their horns for no reason! Again - where am I??
Mike and I stopped at a deli to get something to eat. I remember trying to figure out what I wanted and hearing a lot of "Alright already! Hurry it up!" This very well may have been my boyfriend in all his Jersey glory, but after that I was pretty much scared to talk in public. The locals couldn't understand my southern accent, and half the time, I couldn't understand them. It was just better for everyone that I stayed quiet.
Now I am writing this with only from the what I have gathered from people I have met in NJ, and the always realiable source on Bravo, The Real Housewives. I am sure (maybe) that there are people in New Jersey that do not fit into this stereotype, but I have to say, if you do, it is pretty hilarious. It is a whole other world that I just don't seem to fit into!
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