Sunday, August 30, 2009

The Mandarin Lounge

Well, I think I am 5 days in to my training? I was off yesterday, which was nice because Friday was crazy, and also the training day in which someone followed me around and critiqued me when I was done. It was exhausting. My critique was, "You did great, especially considering how busy it was, but just remember that you need to be aware of everything all the time." I just didn't know how to respond to that.

Friday night after I came home around 10pm, (pizza and salad in hand) I collapsed on the couch. I had already gone for a longer run that afternoon and was about to fall asleep. Then Mike calls from school and asks if I want to go meet his friends for a drink."It's 11:00" I said. "I know, but they are all out..." I felt bad, especially since I have been telling him that he needs to get out with people more, (including me), so I changed my clothes (I was still in my apron) and got ready.

We headed to a place named The Mandarin Lounge, where Mike's other classmates were gathered. Now as I have gotten older, I really prefer to hang out at someone's house or a low key bar with maybe an acoustic guitar in the background? I got nervous when we got in line to pay the cover (only for males, no cover for girls.) All the girls were wearing very tight,very revealing, silky outfits. I was just happy that I had decided to put on heels instead of flip flops! I was wearing jeans and a cute top from Banana, but I quickly noted that was not going to cut it. We climbed several flights of stairs because this place is actually on the top of some other restaurant so you can walk out on the roof. Neat idea, but there were some flaws. First, while we were hiking up the stairs, I started to hear the music. We were still about 2 floors away. I asked Mike if the music seemed loud. He actually did agree. Imagine how loud it was when we actually walked in. Once we found our friends, they told us we had just missed a dance off?? and a girl was dragging me to dance. My feet were hurting, my legs were tired and I just completely denied her my dancing skills.

It got better after we went outside, but some kid almost fell on me because he was so drunk. I enjoyed watching all the young 20 somethings in their outfits. I think they thought they were headed for a night out in LA, rather than STL. All in all, we had a good time, but at 1:30, a guy with a bullhorn (Not kidding) came out and started herding people back inside. They kept yelling that it was time to go and for everyone to get out. I put my completely full beer down and started heading for the steps. I heard a guy scream, "I'm getting married tomorrow!" That poor bride.

At the bottom of the stairs a guy was giving away wristbands so everyone could go to another bar that stayed open until 3 am. Brilliant. Send people who cannot stand up to another bar that is no where within walking distance. We finally got home and settled and when I looked at the clock it was 3 am. I could not believe it. I was exhausted and slept until noon the next day. (Ok, for those of you who know me, that is not completely out of the ordinary.)

I am blaming the Mandarin Lounge on me not completing my long run this weekend. I was so tired yesterday and promised myself I would run today. However, 16 miles is a long way to go by yourself, and I opted to sleep in this morning. Additionally, I have to work at 3 pm today. That kind of puts a wrench in any plans you have for the day. I am looking at the clock trying to figure out if I could go for a short run before work. I guess I will go change...hope you all had a great weekend. Tonight I will be followed around while I work the door. Friday, I was working the floor. I know, it's complicated stuff.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Training

I have hit rock bottom. For the past two days, I have been trained by two 17 year-old boys who are about to embark on the collegiate world. One is actually attended Stanford and the other is going to the University of Michigan. I felt like their big sister. They were asking me if they should rush and telling me about the girlfriends they had to break up with because they were moving. I feel like such a loser. As soon as I met both of them I started wondering if they were even old enough to legally work. I forgot how young you are when you are in high school! I am sure these kids were like, "Dude, what is that girl doing with her life?" I always throw law school and the bad economy in when people ask my what my story is, but that is just to make myself feel better.

Are you wondering what I have been doing in my training for the past two days? I have been learning that being a "server assistant" means "you clean and bus tables." SO not what I signed up for. Yes, I get to seat people and grab carry outs from the kitchen, but I really don't like this manual labor. A lady saw me cleaning the bathroom and said, "Oh you poor thing. They make you clean the bathrooms?" Yup, and that is just the beginning. I do more cleaning at work than our house has gotten since I lived here. I have to Windex all the windows. The best part about our restaurant is that there is a huge window where the kids can watch the cooks toss the pizza dough. Definitely cool for kids and families. Not so cool for the server assistant who has to clean off all the little fingerprints when we close. When we used to eat at this place, I always thought it was adorable to watch these kids lick, slobber and put their fingerprints all over the window because they are so excited. Tonight I was tempted to ask these children to please sit quietly in their seats or go eat some pizza.

Yesterday was pretty easy and I think I did ok. I learned how to bus tables, seat people, and bring out orders previously called in orders. As I did not feel that this is rocket science, I did try to go off on my own a few times. That poor 17 year old got in trouble. Our manager yelled, "Don't leave her alone! She doesn't know anything!" Ok..not sure it was necessary to yell that across the restaurant, but whatever. I tried not to touch anything else. I learned that the napkins have to be laid out on a specific side and the blade of the knife must be facing in. Even how the salt/pepper/Parmesan cheese/red pepper flakes are staged is assigned. There is even a system of what color straws go in different drinks! This is the thing I am having the most trouble with. Why should a black straw go in Coke, when the logo is red? Very confusing. I guess someone found it logical.

Tonight was a different story. I couldn't figure out if my little guy was annoyed that he had a shadow, or if he just isn't a sociable person. He did tell me he prefers to be on the floor as opposed to seating people because he doesn't like dealing with people. I guess that was my answer. Also, I don't stop talking, so he probably was a little annoyed. The problem was, he would just leave me. I would turn around for a second and he would be gone! (Remember, I am specifically NOT allowed to do anything by myself so I was feeling very lost and vulnerable!)

I decided that I could do SOME things by myself. I grabbed the water pitcher and started walking around checking to see if anyone needed a refill. Guess what. No one wants their waitress/server assistant to chat with them. They do not care about your lame jokes are attempts to socialize. I put the pitcher up. I then grabbed the iced tea (unsweet, of course) and started quietly refilling those glasses. I asked a 13 year old if she wanted more tea and her mom informed me that she was drinking apple juice. Ok, I said, did she want a refill? Yes. So now I am on a mission. This is something I have not encountered before. Where is the juice? I went and asked the cliquey 20 year old waitresses where the apple juice was. All four of them replied in unison, "Apple juice is not free refills." Crap. I meekly explained that I had offered this child a refill and she had accepted. Their eyes were huge. It looked like I had just informed them there was a bomb in the restaurant and everyone was going to die. One of them finally piped in and said, "You're going to have to __________." (The manager.) Instead, I ran to my 17 year buddy and explained what had happened. Then I chided him for leaving me alone and allowing this mistake to happen. (Of course it was his fault! :-))

We made it over to the manager who did not care and just asked me to tell them there would be a charge for the next one. Was it really necessary to make such a fuss? Later, I found myself alone again and saw that there were salads ready to be taken to tables. I checked the ticket to make sure everything was correct and picked up the salads. I guess my pal had noticed he lost me because he was suddenly right over my shoulder. "Where's the ticket for this?" he asked. "Right here" I respond. When we start looking at the ticket I showed him, it was completely wrong. How could this have happened? I JUST checked the ticket and it was right. My buddy said the kitchen must have made a mistake, but the salad guy was quick to assure us this was not his fault. The tickets are supposed to go on this sharp piece of metal when you are done with them. We were riffling through tickets and my mentor was searching all over the kitchen. Finally we found it in the trash can. Apparently I did not think the ticket was very important.

Those were the major mistakes of the day. Yes, I bought black high top tennis shoes at Payless today for $3o. I thought that was kind of expensive for a pair of black tennis shoes that will only be used minimally, but whatever. (I also bought a new pair of earrings and a ring - doesn't it feel good to pay less?) I have a shift tomorrow, and am going to be on my own while someone follows me around and critiques what I do. How does that not make someone nervous. I know I will make stupid mistakes because I am aware someone is watching me. And also, I cannot eat another piece of pizza. 3 days in of free pizza is too much. I will keep you posted. I am absolutely exhausted, even though my shift was only 4.5 hours. I may just end up liking the working world, however lame, after all.

Second Day

I have a lot to tell you about my second day of training, but I have to jump in the shower and then go buy my black tennis shoes. What I am wondering is, what color socks do I now wear? Black? Ugh. Will write more later. Hope everyone is having a great day!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Are you on Pins and Needles?

Well, I literally stayed up until 11 pm last night studying specialty pizzas, salads and salad dressings. I was exhausted, but I have to say, it was sort of nice to use my brain again, even if it was that minute part that is involved in memorization. I felt pretty good about the material, but kept reminding myself that this was a 100% passage rate. Then I started thinking - wait, maybe they are just SAYING this to make people learn the material. I am going to make you wait to see what happened.

Today I had to wake up and buy my "uniform." Khakis, (do people wear those anymore? If you do, I am not insulting you, but I personally don't feel comfortable in them), a black belt (that I was mortified to buy) and black tennis shoes. That's right: tennis shoes that are black. I thought I could get away with black ballet flats and no one would notice, but I was caught. Then I tried the old, "But I don't even know where to buy black tennis shoes...do they even make those?" Yes my friends, they do. Please visit your local Payless or Target if you would like a pair. (My other point was, why buy all this stuff and then fail the test and not be able to return BLACK TENNIS SHOES!!)

So I am getting antsy. I am supposed to be at the restaurant at 2:30 and I showed up closer to 2:15. Remember I live across the street so I can just run on over there whenever I want. I do think this will be convenient when I am running late. Oh by the way - when I called yesterday to extend my test date some guy answered the phone. When I asked to speak to the managers I had met he told me they were not there. I asked if he could have them call me back and he replied, "Um, why don't you just leave a message? I am more than capable of taking one for you." Wow. Now I was scared to even meet this guy - today I find out he is, in fact, the third manager. Super.

Ok.So I am in the restaurant. I get seated in a booth with some water and kind of feel like I am about to take the SATs again. The only difference was the Beatles playing loudly in the background and people eating pizza all around me. They did, in fact, scramble the order of the pizzas from the study sheet we were given. Tricky! Good thing I am so old I was able to figure this out. After I finished, (and raised my hand like I was on a game show shouting "Done!") the manager took my test to the back. Judgment day. She came back and told me that I made one mistake. What? What in the world did I do? I wrote down that the Caesar dressing went on the Greek salad. My mind had zoned out because I was using so little of it that I had made the stupidest mistake. However....she let me pass because she said every other portion of the test was above and beyond what was expected and because I finished the test faster than she had ever seen anyone complete it. Law school people. This is where it can take you.

We went over all this paperwork like how I can't drink or use drugs at work. She then started to tell me about the policy of dating within the company. She stopped herself and said, "Let's be honest. There's no one here you want to date." Alrighty then. While we were going over the papers, I asked her if the "100%" rule was just a ploy to make people study. She said no! They are so serious about this restaurant!! The girl who came in after me to take the test kept stretching her arms and took an hour to finish. She passed but she later told me that the test was "really hard." She used to work at Hooters and just graduated from college after 9 years. Also, she said that she always wears a belt with her khakis. I think I offended her when I was dogging our outfits.

So, after two interviews, and a written test, I still have SEVEN (7) days of training. Today I stood in the kitchen and watched the pizzas coming out of the oven. I then had to identify them (see the transition of paper to real product?) Hooters girl and I stayed in the way as people rushed around us trying to get orders out. Hooters girl was wrong about pretty much every pizza that came out. Not sure how long she is going to last. The head kitchen guy told me his name is "Killer" and to come to him if I have any problems with the staff. Then he informed me he is a gynecologist on the side. I informed him that I just went over the sexual harassment part of the handbook 30 minutes before. I think we will make a great team.

So tomorrow I am back at 10:00 am. Too bad I won't be able to purchase those black tennis shoes before then. The best part about training is that after ever shift I receive a free pizza (which has to be half & half and be one of the specialty pizzas) as well as a salad, so that I will be able to tell customers honestly if I like the pizza. This evening I dined on a strawberry salad, the Green Lantern, and the Wimpy. Good thing I am training for this marathon. I also receive 50% off carry out orders. Am I enticing anyone to go into the restaurant business? I don't know what tomorrow entails, but I hope that I will soon be promoted to actual "server" rather than "server assistant" and start making the real money! I will keep you posted on my next assignment!

PS - Mike keeps making fun of my super awesome t-shirt. On the front it has the name of the restaurant, and on the back it says "Taking Pizza to the Next Level." That's all I have to say about that.

Monday, August 24, 2009

This Weekend

I just got an email from my friend who said she has been checking my blog and there have not been any postings since Thursday. Sorry faithful followers, I have no idea what I have been doing, but I do think about what I am going to write about while I am falling asleep. (Trust me, it works.) Anyway, when I noticed my email pop up, I was studying for my pizza test. (That is a sentence I hoped I would never have to say!) I decided a quick update wouldn't take up TOO much time!

I have given much thought to this pizza test as it has become a thorn in my side. I thought after taking the bar twice and finishing undergrad and law school, I would no longer be required to memorize information and regurgitate it. Welcome to my potential new job. I actually called this morning to extend my test. I previously agreed that 6 days would be plenty of time to study, as opposed to the week the company grants upcoming employees. Nope. I procrastinated (as I did in all the other memorization tests I have ever taken) and am now on number 9 of the 12 speciality pizzas there are to offer. (I also have to know salads and what is in each dressing.) I can assure you that I am not pulling an all nighter for this test (I need my brain fully functioning at 2:30 tomorrow afternoon!) But if I accidentally put pepperoni on the "Edgar Alan Poe" I hope that y'all will not be too disappointed in me. You would be amazed at how clean this place is due to my procrastination!

I guess part of what made my weekend a little more exciting is that Mike turned his comprehensive papers in!! Now they have to be edited by his committee, revised by him and then he starts his dissertation. I can't think about it in the long term because I get stressed, so I think it is a milestone that the papers are done. Anyway, this weekend, we were actually able to spend time together which was huge! It is also an adjustment. Suddenly I am not the sole controller of the television and Mike likes the Discovery Channel and the History Channel. He DVRd a show about mining for diamonds and suggested I watch it if I wanted a ring. (He was kidding...I think.) I calmly suggested that he go pull my suitcases out of the closet as I would be leaving the next day. I did try to watch the show, but it was so freaking boring I fell asleep. Sort of like this pizza test....

I know this is getting long, but I have one more thing to tell y'all. I am still having trouble falling asleep, but it is not as severe as before. Last night after tossing and turning for at least an hour and a half, I was asleep. Mike was in bed watching t.v, so I had my earplugs and eye mask on. Anyway, I suddenly felt a claw over my face. I woke up and Mike was holding my nose!! "What the H$#@ are you doing?" I yelled. "Oh, you were snoring." You have got to be kidding me. Do you know how many times I have listened somewhat patiently to him snore, but was just happy that he was sleeping soundly? And then he tries to smother me!! My mom thought this was hilarious. I got him back though this afternoon. He went to take a nap and I did the same thing to him. He did not like it. Just a little taste of your own medicine is often the best remedy.

Ok, I hope that y'all all had a great weekend. I guess I will go back to the pizza studying...or maybe I should go to the grocery store?

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Are You an Angry Brooder or a Short Fuser?

The other night I was relaxing before bed, reading my book. Mike came in with his Discover magazine and I knew that "quiet time" was over. My boyfriend has a tendency to misread situations that require quiet, so I put my bookmark in place and started a conversation.

I informed him that I was still annoyed about the lady at the pizza place calling me old, as well as the manager at Cheesecake Factory being so rude. I continued on saying that I was planning on writing a letter to the big-wigs at Cheesecake Factory Corp, to let them know that their hiring staff in St. Louis, MO is doing a very poor and unorganized job. I had already told my mother all this earlier in the day. She told me I was wasting energy on things I couldn't do anything about and that I had other things to do. "Really?" I asked? "Like what? Study for my pizza test?"

Anyway, as I continued to drone on and on about how I SHOULD have handled these situations, Mike said, "You are an angry brooder!" I started laughing and informed him that this is something he should know about me by now. "I'm serious!" he says, and pulls out the Discover magazine. Of all the things I could have been talking about, I focused in on the article he had been reading. And so my science lesson began.

I am going to spare you the specific details, but I did find this interesting. Apparently, there are two ways that people handle anger. You either have an increased sense of memory regarding the issue you are incensed about and continue to ruminate about it, or you lash out immediately. I am pretty sure that I do both, but the article did not address that category. (I guess they are not sure how to study people like me.) Regardless, I was able to show my multi-talented gift this morning.

Over the past three days an unknown number has been calling me literally every 15 to 30 minutes. I do not answer the phone when I do not know the number, and believe that if the call is important, the caller will leave a message. After three days of these phone calls and no messages, I finally called the number back. A lady answered by saying, "Hello?" I explained that someone had been calling me incessantly from that number and I would like to know what was going on. She launched into a sales call, stating that I had signed up for a government grant (I have no recollection of this) and how she could help me get money for free! (Yeah, right.) I told her I was not in the least interested in her proposal and to please stop calling me. After I hung up, I started thinking about all the things I should have said to her. And so....I called her back.

When she answered, I asked her what her name was and why she continued to call every 15 minutes and never left a voice message. She launched into her grant proposal script again. I asked her to please stop talking about that and reminded her that I already told her I was not interested. I explained that calling people over and over again was annoying and asked to speak to her manager. She offered the phone number of her manager (where is this lady??) which I ignored and asked her again to take me off her calling list. We then hung up and for some reason, I felt much better about the situation.

I'm not sure where this leaves me in the short fuser/angry brooder category, but I have to say, I was very happy once I got off the phone. Maybe I am just a confrontationalist.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I Am Officially Employed...Almost

So, I promised to tell you the story of what happened last Thursday when I went searching for jobs in the food industry. I need to explain to you why I have not been searching for restaurant/mall jobs since Pottery Barn Kids closed. The reason is, I hate them, and I was really hoping that something would come along that was 9-5 with a steady salary, regardless of how low. The problem was, as many resumes as I sent out for paralegal, legal secretary or contract legal work, I received nothing in return. I even interviewed for a social work position but was not called back. (I think the reasoning was because the lady looked at me like I had one eye when I stated my optimal salary.) Sorry people, some of us have a LOT of school loans to pay off!!

So Tuesday, I trekked across the street to the pizza place where Mike and I order from at least twice a month. I thought I should get points just for that.I was given an application and told to come back Thursday for an interview. Last Thursday I spoke to a lovely girl/lady (who knows how old she was) and she set me up with a second interview with the "higher" manager today (Thursday). I felt positive about the meeting, and was looking forward to my meeting this afternoon.

Last week I came home to tell Mike that I had a second interview with the pizza place, but he still made me go to another restaurant with that whole, "You can't put all your eggs in one basket" deal. So I headed over to Cheesecake Factory. I picked up an application from them and was told to come back Thursday when the managers would be interviewing. So my Thursday was full, and I was hoping that something positive would come from one of these two place.

After I met with the pizza lady, I headed to Cheesecake Factory. No one warned me that this was a mass interview with multiple people milling around waiting to talk with the powers that be in the managerial world. When my name was finally called 30 minutes later, I was already miffed. I thought the entire system was very unorganized and some kid kept hitting on me, telling me "Good Luck" and "You will love it here!" I wanted to tell him that at that point if I didn't get some cheese cake, someone was going to be in trouble!
The manager called my name (like we were at the doctor's office) and showed me to a table. We both sat and stared at each other after introductions had been made. Who is supposed to be leading this interview anyway? Boorish man in his yellow button down finally speaks.

BMIYBD: Soooo....what brings you in today?

Me: I tried not to make a face, I really did, but what the heck do you think I am doing there? Getting dinner??
"Well, I just wanted to speak with you about the potential for employment in a hostess or waitress position.

BMIYBD: Ok, so why Cheesecake Factory?

Me: Totally made some BS up

BMIYBD: Well, it doesn't look like you have any restaurant experience whatsoever.

Me: Hey Dumbass. If you would look at my resume you would see that I have been a hostess. In addition, how smart do you need me to be to take people to their seats?

Of course the guy acted like he had never heard about the place where I hostessed, probably because it is DIRECTLY up the street.

Finally, boorish man in a yellow button down asks me to tell him about myself. I hate these sorts of questions. They are almost as bad as the "Tell me one weakness about yourself." Who knows how to answer those? You either give a positive attribute and twist it around to make it negative, or are dumb and tell them one of your negative attributes.

Back to talking about me: "I'm nice....organized.....lot of positive adjectives."

BMIYBD: Ok, well we will call you in 24-48 hours. If you do not hear from us, please consider another employment opportunity. PS - They never called.

I was so turned off by this guy. The entire interview took me less time than it did for me to drive down the street. So much for putting your eggs in one basket.

The positive part is that I went back to the pizza place this afternoon and spoke with another nice lady. She offered me a position, pending I make 100% on the menu test!! Don't worry, I get a week to study, but wow...that is stressful for a hostess! And what if they scramble the pizzas or something while I am taking the test? While the interviewer was making copies I noticed a hot pink sticky note attached to my file. I did NOT move a thing so I was not snooping. I simply used my powerful senses to read upside down what the prior interviewer had said about me. I was shocked. "This girl is a little OLDER (30's!!), but I still liked her." I am not embellishing how it read. In fact, the "30's" was underlined! I wanted to point out that I was only 29, but let's be honest, what good would that have done.

So, I will be the oldest pizza hostess around, until something a little more stable comes up. Wish me luck on that test!!!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Training is a Four Letter Word

When I signed up for this marathon, I am not sure what I expected. I just kept hearing about what an adrenaline rush it is to finish running after such a long period of time. It seemed like a great idea and has been on my "Bucket List" for awhile. Here's the thing. The training, getting ready to run for approximately 4.5 hours is hard. It is not fun. In fact, there is nothing fun about it. I know, I can't complain because I signed up for it, but my gosh!

Sunday I was supposed to run 14 miles. I looked up a "beginner's marathon training schedule" awhile ago and have been following that. The problem is, I haven't exactly been following it perfectly. I went out of town a few weekends, and sometimes I just didn't want to get up at 6:30 in the morning. It is true, getting out of the bed is the hardest part, but it is super hard! Especially when I don't have anything to do the rest of the day! That is just adding more hours to my day for me to fill!

So, my longest run thus far has been 11 miles. I felt good about that one, but it has been almost a month since I completed that. When I woke up Sunday, I tried to mentally prepare myself that I would be running for a long time and just to enjoy it. The self talk did not work. Before I tell you about the run, I have to tell you about all the gadgets that you should have (and I have bought into) in order to run a marathon. They have this stuff called Gu, that is the consistency of pudding and comes in a variety of flavors. You are supposed to squeeze this packet into your mouth after you have been running for about an hour. The Gu has sugar and carbs that are supposed to help replenish what your body has burned.

I also bought a belt (stop laughing) that has four 8 oz bottles attached to it. You fill them with water and are able to whip then out and pour them into your mouth without breaking your stride.I kind of feel like I am in the Wild West when I pull out one of my bottles. So Sunday morning, I took off with my IPOD, belt and Gu (nicely tucked into the pocket in the belt.) After about 45 minutes I realized this was going to be a bad run. My legs were already hurting and I still had about 10 miles to go. At that point, I decided I would lower my expectations to 12 miles that week. After running about an hour, I whipped out my vanilla bean flavored Gu. I don't know what I was expecting, but it tasted horrible. Plus, I also expected to suddenly get a boost of energy, kind of like a cartoon character. I felt nothing. A poor side effect of the Gu is that it can upset some people's stomachs. The powers that be of running suggest taking half the pack if you have a weak tummy. Even though I do, I went ahead and took the whole thing. I needed the energy!! Bad idea. Now my leg were feeling like puddy while my stomach was feeling like I was going to vomit.

Moral of the story, I walked a lot of the way. I was gone for two hours and five minutes, but don't know how far I actually got. I need to map it out, but haven't gotten around to it. I talked to my dad afterward and asked him if it was normal for my entire body to be aching and my feet to be killing me. He informed me that my legs were not strong enough yet and I needed to increase my mileage during the week. Awesome. Additionally his wise words, "Jenny, this is not going to be fun" were somewhat disappointing. He has run 3 marathons and I remember looking at his bloody toes during one while he changed socks. Yet people continue this crazy behavior. My alarm is set for 7 am and I am going to jump back on track. (Ha - no pun intended!) Wish me luck!!

Wallet Update

Well, Mike never found his wallet. Apparently he did go to the school at 4 am, and the lady who he suspected of stealing his possessions was not working that shift. (He didn't think THAT point through!) Regardless, he talked with the other ladies that were working that evening.

Mike explained that he thought their "friend" may have accidentally picked up his wallet and did they know anything about it. What kind of person would have thrown their co-worker under the bus like that? Both ladies stated they had not seen any sort of wallet wandering around. Then Mike decides to pull out the big guns and tell them that he is aware of the marijuana smoking that has been going on, and if the wallet is returned to him, there will be no questions asked. "So, you threatened two ladies that had no idea what was going on?" I asked. "I mean, I wasn't threatening them, I was just trying to tell them that I wouldn't turn her in if she returned the wallet." Apparently this wasn't as thought out as he was trying to convince me the other night.

So, no wallet. All credit cards and everything else have been cancelled and Mike borrowed my credit card until he could get some cash from the bank. Now, basically the only thing that we do not do, as far as being considered a married couple, is share a bank account. So, he still has some money coming in, while I am completely broke. So when I started seeing Wendy's bags and Quick-Trip cups in the trash in the morning, we had to have a little chat. "When you are poor, you don't get to buy the Big Gulp just because you are thirsty at 3:00 am." Mike informed me that he did not like being poor. Welcome to my life!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Dumb

May I ask what you were doing this morning at 3:15? With my insomnia finally under control, I was fast asleep. Now, if you recall, Mike is working on these comp papers which are due in 10 days. I have gotten used to going to bed by myself because Mike has declared himself a night owl who does his best work from 3 pm to 3 am.

Because of this, I was not surprised when light from the bathroom streamed into my face, waking me up at 3:15.

Me: "Michael - what are you doing?"

Mike: "Don't worry babe. I'm just washing my face."

Me: "Ok, and then you are coming to bed?"

Mike: Silence

Me: "AND THEN YOU ARE COMING TO BED?"

No. Mike had an entirely different idea. Just as an FYI, his wallet disappeared sometime yesterday. Lost, stolen - who knows, but it is gone. We have searched the condo over and over again to no avail. Mike is convinced that the cleaning lady at his school stole the wallet. Apparently this lady has some questionable behavior (Mike claims he smells marijuana when they are both working late, and supposedly, the worker was given the password to all the computers in the department and logs on regularly.)

So instead of coming to bed, Mike informs me that he is going to confront the cleaning lady and get his wallet back. Now I am trying to shake the sleepy haze from my mind, but I am pretty sure this is the one of the dumbest ideas I have ever heard.

Me: "What if she has a gun?"

Mike: "The cleaning lady?"

Me: "I don't know...you know the school is not in the best area."

Mike: "Don't worry babe. It's fine. I've totally thought this out."

Great. He kept saying "I love you" because he knew how dumb of an idea I thought this was. So now I am wide awake thinking about the cleaning lady pulling out her gun or her posse of other cleaning ladies beating Mike up. On his way out the door, I told him, "this reminds me of a _______ idea," naming one of his college friends. This friend recently bought a turquoise golf cart and refused to walk down the aisle on the day of his wedding to anything other than the soundtrack to "Last of the Mohicans." My idea backfired and Mike seemed to think that my comparison made the idea even better.

Well, I fell back asleep and was awakened to Mike's snoring a few hours ago. I got up and let me tell you - there is no wallet to be found in this house. I am anxious for him to wake up just to see how this confrontation went!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Happy Birthday to Me!

So yesterday I turned the big 2-9. I was thrilled when Mike's brother in law text messaged me to remind me that I only had one year left until I was "officially old." Yikes!

I have to preface this post by saying that I absolutely love birthdays. I think it is the one time every year that you are able to do whatever you want and the excuse "But it's my birthday" always works. Yesterday was weird though. It was the first time that I have ever celebrated a birthday away from a large group, be it friends or family. I was trying to remember where I was last year because I had already moved to St. Louis when I turned 28. I realized that we took a trip down south, so I was able to celebrate with my family, friends, and then Mike's family. I had everything but a parade. This year, not so much. Mike and I went to a nice sushi dinner, but that was about it for the festivities. I got some great presents, but I think I always have such high expectations they can never be met. I am still waiting for Mike to wake me up doing cartwheels while he holds a cake and balloons.

I kept crying yesterday when people would call or email "Happy Birthday." And then my close friends from Birmingham sent me a package of cookies that sent me into hysterics. My mom said, "I think you are crying because you are so touched that everyone is thinking about you." Nope, I did not agree. I think I was just feeling sorry for myself. My mom also took the opportunity to remind me every time that I talked with her that 29 years before she was still in labor. I was a stubborn little baby and it took me awhile to decide to let the world take a look at me. Additionally, I was breach, and my mom made the decision to have a natural birth. Lots of things she could still be holding grudges about - good thing she let those slide!

Today I woke up and felt much better. Another great thing about birthdays is how many people you get to talk to and catch up with no matter how long it has been. I don't know why girls are so weird about birthdays, but I actually do keep track of who communicates in some way to wish me "Happy Birthday." A few years ago it would have made me upset if someone forgot my big day, but since then, I have missed some birthdays myself and realized these things happen. Other people's lives do not center around you, even on your day of birth.

So I started laughing when a friend of mine called twice today apologizing for not wishing me a happy birthday. The funny thing is, she called me yesterday and left a message just to catch up. I actually laughed when I heard the message because I thought, "She is going to feel so badly about this tomorrow." But what can you do? You can't call someone and say, "I'm so glad you called. You know it's my birthday, right?"

Yesterday I spoke with my Grandma (who I call Grandma - that is important). She asked if I had received her card (which I knew had a little spending money in it.) She started getting very nervous that it had not arrived, even though she had only mailed it two days prior. I made sure to check the mail today, and of course, there it was. The thing is, she had written, "Hope you have a wonderful day. Love, Nana." What in the world? I have never called her Nana. I showed Mike and informed him that I was pretty sure my grandma was losing it.

I called her tonight and asked her if she remembered how she signed the card. She said, "Oh Jenny, I knew you were going to get onto me for that!" Grandma has three surviving children, who each have a "set" of children. Each set of grandchildren call her by a different name. Our "regular" household calls her Grandma, while she is called Nana and Garbie by the other two. She explained that she was signing a card to my cousin, whose birthday is also in August, and just wasn't thinking. When I am a Grandma I am picking only one name and will not be answering to anything else. That is confusing!

So that is pretty much it. I went to get Mexican with a wonderful friend this evening and got some fun and very generous presents from her. I guess I am just growing up and birthdays aren't as fun as when you were five and didn't really have to plan anything or worry about money. The best part was knowing that I am loved and thought about by all the people that I talked to yesterday. Maybe mom was right.

I am exhausted and going to bed now, but I will have to write tomorrow about the restaurant interviews I attended today. Restauranteurs take their jobs very seriously! Good night!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Deep Thoughts and Potential Babysitting Job

When do you have your best thoughts? The kind where you invent something the world would be useless without, or you solve global warming? Some people do it in the shower. I like to do it while I am running. Yesterday I went for a run around 3 pm, which was just dumb because it was 90 degrees. (Yes, I know it is worse in Birmingham.) Regardless, as I was running I realized I wasn't thinking about anything. "Oh no," I thought, "has my life gotten so boring that I don't even have anything to think about while I am by myself?"

I get distracted easily and noticed a guy running ahead of me. I decided to race him (without his knowledge) and as soon as I picked up the pace, the thoughts began to flow. Apparently the speedier I am, the more problems I am able to solve and the more blog ideas I am able to come up with!

I started thinking about an "interview" (if you can even call it that) I attended this weekend in order for me to qualify to babysit these people's kids. They parents are friends with the kids I already babysit, and in most places, I would think that connection would be enough. I get it - you don't want to leave your kids with some stranger, but is it necessary that I come by on a Saturday afternoon so the parents can grill me and observe how I interact with their children? I was late because I got lost (of course) and started apologizing profusely. I just couldn't read this lady. I know she is a business women in event planning and apparently she does not put up with peons being late.

She took me into the den where her three year old daughter was coloring and her 6 month old daughter was just hanging out. They seem to be super nice kids and easy to get along with. The mom then went to get the dad and we all sat around the living room while everyone stared at me. AWKWARD. They began asking about my babysitting history (really?) and how I would handle different situations. I felt compelled to start babbling about all the interactions I have had with kids and almost wished I had brought my resume! I even threw out there that I took a Babysitting Class sponsored by the Red Cross when I was 11. What?? How long until they were done with me?

They asked how much I charged, and seemed to mull over this amount. In the end, it was agreed upon to be a reasonable price. Then they stared at me while I drew on a chalkboard with their three year old. I told my mother I would have preferred for them to get a nanny cam or something instead of watching me like I was going to run off with their child if they left us alone! Finally it was decided that I would be an appropriate person to babysit the children. At first this was supposed to be once a week for several hours, but apparently they found someone else to take that position. So I went on a faux interview just to keep these kids a few nights a month when the parents want to go out. I did not like this, but it will hopefully lead to a little extra money.

I went for a run today but was more focused on making myself finish than pondering the mysteries of life. I will try to think of something more exciting tomorrow! Have a great Tuesday!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

It's Wedding Season!

Sorry it has been a little while since I wrote. We actually had things to do this weekend, which was a change, and always fun and exciting. Friday night we went to a wedding for one of Mike's cohorts. We had a good time, but it got me thinking about the differences that I have experienced so far between Southern and Northern weddings. When I say "Northern" I mean the 5 I recently have most recently attended; 2 in New Jersey, 2 in St. Louis and 1 in Baltimore. Here are my findings:

1. Band or D.J.? I had never really heard of having a D.J. at a wedding. The majority of the weddings I have been to have bands that sing the classics: "Brown Eyed Girl," "My Girl" and "Shout." Personally, I am not a fan of the chicken dance or the hokey pokey, which may be played by either. The good point of a D.J. is that they usually have more up to date music, but I'm also not sure how I feel to my Grandma dancing to "Back That Ass Up."

2. The Invitation: In the South, you can tell how expensive the invitations were based on how thick the paper is. These invites are very formal, usually with someone contributing their calligraphy as a gift, or having them printed in formal cursive. You can pay additional costs by throwing in a border or a monogram on the top. Additionally there are several sheets of tissue paper and envelopes inside of envelopes to notify you that this is a wedding invitation. Now not all, but some of the weddings that I have been to up here are much less formal in their invitations. They are more like a regular invitation to a engagement party or shower.

3. The Food: This is very important for your guests. I do have a preference to the choices I am going to offer, but I will not reveal it. However, I believe that it is important that you do have enough food to feed your guests, especially if you plan to serve them alcohol. (To be discussed in #4.) The buffet is very southern, with heavy hors d'oeuvres ranging from stuffed mushrooms, cheese plates and chicken fingers. Sometimes there are stations that you can make your way around. This is always fun. You hit the pasta station, then the carving station, etc. The grits station is my favorite - I am so having one of those. Stations are a good way to make sure that everyone is filled up - you just can't consume the champagne when you have only had a few pieces of cheese.

The other option is the sit down dinner. This seems to be more popular in the North, where you check on the return, pre-addressed, pre-stamped envelope: chicken, steak or fish. (By the way, it drives me crazy when people don't send those back. How hard is it to make a little "X" by your name and put it in the mail? Do you know how hard these brides have worked to make this easy on you? They just want an idea of how many people are coming so they can feed you!) But I digress. The only problem I have with the sit down dinner is that sometimes people are so busy, the mingling and dancing starts a little later.

Finally, at both the New Jersey weddings I attended, they had a cocktail hour, that led into the sit down dinner. This thing was amazing. Anything you could imagine at a southern buffet was at the cocktail hour, with a full bar. (Including my favorite, the pasta station.) Then, after an hour or so of visiting, everyone moves into the banquet hall where dinner is served. It is quite a feast and I would suggest fasting the entire day if you plan to attend one of these.

4. The Alcohol - This seems to be pretty universally agreed upon. Everyone seems to want alcohol at the wedding. Whether it is needed for some liquid courage to give a speech or ask the cute bridesmaid to dance, it is always welcomed. You have several options here. Full open bar, open bar with beer and wine, cash bar, or a simple champagne toast. I prefer the full open bar (of course - it is the most expensive) but it can also lead to trouble. The best bet may be to stick with the wine and beer.

5. The Parties - Although this is pre-wedding, this is a big deal in the South. You can have the Engagement party, the Stock the Bar party, the Around the House shower, the Tool and Gadget Party, The Couples Party, The Bridal Tea...the list goes on and on. I love this, but the idea either did not make it up here, or they nixed it. Although it is a lot of events, they are always fun and you generally get to see a different set of people at each event. (PS - You don't have to buy a present for each event either.)

That is pretty much all I can think of in terms of differences. The wedding we attended Friday night was a lot of fun. We were late, as usual, but I have gotten to the point where if it is not an event for my friend, I try not to make a fuss about it. If Mike feels comfortable sneaking into the last pew at his friend's wedding, I will go along with it. The only problem was, this wedding was in a banquet hall and there was no back entrance. Everyone sat at round tables while the ten minute ceremony was performed. Guess how late we were. Yes, ten minutes. We totally missed the ceremony. Then we had to walk through the front doors as the wedding party was taking pictures. I was horrified. "Hi guys! Congrats on that marriage. We are just here for the food and alcohol!"

It ended up being fine. They did have a D.J., and a disco ball at that. At some point I looked over and there was dry ice covering the dance floor. I think I lost the bride for a minute because the smoke was so thick, but hey. That was a new investment I had never thought of...always something new!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Why I Went to Law School

Don't worry, this will not read like an admissions letter. I was just trying to remind myself this afternoon what inspired me to take out a billion dollars in student loans and put myself through three years of hell. And tonight as I again cannot sleep, I remembered. (Now I want you to know that I have taken a Benadryl and an Ambien with no effect, so I am not promising stellar writing.)

Anyway, the reason I went to get a law degree is because of my kids. Are you asking, "Jenny, when in the world did you have kids?" I am talking about the foster kids that I worked with during my first job out of college. Things were so much easier then. I was a lot more confident when I went into interviews then because I was too naive to realize how competitive the market is/was. I actually asked my potential boss what DHR stood for (that is a staple in the social work world.) Regardless, after ensuring that I had "sowed my wild oats" (he really did ask me that) I was hired.

I was given a case load of 8 kids that ranged in ages from 4 to 17. Each of these kids were living with foster care families and had been diagnosed with some sort of DMV-IV criteria. (That is, they are considered to be suffering from a severe psychological condition. All my kids had issues, took medicine and really just needed to be loved.

One of my favorite stories that I remember is from the first time that I was on call. Yes, you read correctly, I was on call, with a beeper, and I do not have an MD. Most of the time, the calls were from parents who were just annoyed, but on my first weekend with the pager I got the mother of calls. I was told by the foster parents that they wanted to drop the kid off and were no longer willing to take him into their home. Now, when you are on call, you are responsible for every one's kids. This child was not mine, and I had no type of relationship with him. I asked to speak to him on the phone and asked him what was going on. Keep in mind this child is 8.

Child: "You're white, aren't you?"

Me: "Well, I don't think that is really the issue. Can you tell me why you are so angry?"

Child: "No you stupid cracker."

Me: "Ok, I think it is important that we try to resolve this situation because your foster parents are not happy and are thinking about taking you to the hospital."

Child: "Shut up you fat cow." Click. Phone call is over.

After speaking with my supervisor (who probably thought this was hilarious) I called the foster parents back and told them I would meet them at Children's Hospital. They did not want him riding with me because they were afraid the child would reach across the back of the seat and strangle me. Super.

When I walked into the emergency room, this child saw me and streaked across the waiting area to lock himself in the bathroom. Luckily for us, Children's Hospital must have come across this same type of behavior before, and does not allow the doors to lock from the inside. I walked into the bathroom and tried to talk with him. I still am not sure what set him off that day, but he had major issues that could be resolved with a lot of therapy for the rest of his life. Unfortunately, I don't think that is going to the path for him.

The nurse showed us the child's room for the moment and somehow it was determined that it was safe for me to be in there with him alone. I stopped him as he attempted to shove cotton balls down his throat, throw wooden tongue depressors around the room and then tell me that he was going to strangle himself with his sheet. At that point I called for the dr. to give him some sort of tranquilizer. As the child calmed down, but before he went to sleep, he told me thank you and I love you. I started crying because I was so overwhelmed with the situation, and of course the hospital social worker walked in right at that time. It was a little embarrassing.

That child is one of many that sealed my deal with law school. He was sent away to a residential facility and I have no idea where he has gone from there. Actually he may be almost 18 and will age of the system very soon. There are attorneys that represent these children, as well as their families. Albeit they are not well paid well, I feel that this is the most rewarding way that I will be able to use my degree. I have been searching for social work jobs and am hoping that something in that field will come my way.

Email, Texting and Faxing, Oh My!

My fight with insomnia continues. The good thing is, while I am laying in bed thinking of all the things that I can't fix, I also come up with some good blogging ideas. (Or so I think.) This one isn't really that funny, it is just what I think part of the problem is when it comes to my employment. (Which has now been 2 months.)

I am all over careerbuilder.com, yahoojobs.com, and other various websites. I also have a temp agency that specializes in legal work searching for something for me. However, the problem with this technology is, no one ever sees your face. I sit at the computer and hit "send" with my resume and cover letter over and over again. Who knows if someone is actually receiving these documents, and it is so easy, think about how many people are hitting "send" for the exact same jobs. I actually did receive a rejection letter from one of the companies, and it was a relief. At least they sat down and decided I wasn't a good fit for that career!

The other problem is that I don't really have any contacts here. Now, I made a decision to move to St. Louis and not to Birmingham, so I recognize that this is my own problem. However, it is nice when someone's daddy knows someone who could maybe introduce you to someone else. My three friends here just don't have the same contacts in comparison to the town where you grew up. At least someone could vouch for me in Birmingham that I am a hard worker and capable of being, for example, a secretary.

The final problem is, I now vacillate between what I want to do when I grow up. Mike thinks this is because my legal career has not taken off, but you should hear some of the ideas I have come up with. Ok, I will tell you. I thought about getting my teaching certificate, but I don't think I have the patience to run a classroom, and I wouldn't really be able to apply for a job until the next school year. (And we will have moved to another state by then.) Then I thought about being being a journalist. (I am not saying that I am a good enough writer to be a journalist, these are just things I think about. Remember, I wanted to go on American Idol.) Mike informed me that there are no journals in St. Louis, which I'm pretty sure is wrong, but that gave me an opportunity to say, "Another reason I hate this city." I even told Mike yesterday that I was going to have to work at McDonald's, and he really didn't seem too upset or concerned. All I could think about was hot grease flying into my face and either burning me or making me break out.

So, that is what I was pondering last night until 5 am. And then I keep thinking that some higher power is up there saying, "She really needed a taste of humble pie" and laughing. Well, I get it. I am humbled. Please throw me a bone!

Monday, August 3, 2009

Let's Go Red Sox, Let's Go!



So, I am back from Baltimore and once again adjusting to reality. It always feels like the problems you left behind smack you in the face as soon as you get back from vacation. It usually takes me a day or two to adjust.

Are you wondering why the Blackburn clan that lives in Birmingham, AL are huge Red Sox fans? Well, here is the romantic story. My mom and dad actually grew up in Arlington, VA and my grandparents grew up in MA. (Starting to see the connection?) When my grandfather was younger, he was DRAFTED to play for a minor league of the Red Sox. As the pay was not the same as it is now for sports players, my grandfather had to make a decision as to whether or not he would play baseball, or if he would marry my grandmother and go to work for the navy. Luckily for me, he chose the latter.

If that wasn't romantic enough, my grandparents only dated for two months before they got married. Their first date was a double blind date, and they were each set up with other people. Afterwards, my grandfather asked my grandma if she would be interested in going out with him. She said she wasn't sure because the other girl was her friend, but apparently the guilt was not too strong. As I said, they were married two months later! So that is how the Red Sox following seeped into our blood.

A few years ago, my dad decided that he would start traveling to see some of the games. We had done this as a family years before, but sometimes 5 is a crowd, and my mom is not the biggest sports fan in the world. So, dad started taking my middle sister with him, just because she knew player's names and stats and stuff. Well, my sisters and I have a weird thing where everything has to be fair between us. (I know, I am almost 30.) Regardless, my youngest sister and I threw a fit that we were not involved in these "father/daughter" weekends. Last year, my youngest sister went to a game or two, but I was still not able to go because I was studying for the stupid bar. If I could have seen into the future, I should have just met them somewhere!

This year, with nothing on the horizon, I was able to book a ticket to Baltimore and watch the Red Sox play the Orioles. Too bad the Orioles are no good, (and unpleasant fans as well) but we had a great time. We had wonderful seats and won both the games we attended. It was amazing to me how many Boston fans showed up (with their super strong accents!) Dad and I enjoyed a little too much beer Friday night, so we hung out Saturday, went for a run and went to dinner and the game at 7. As I said, the weekend flew by, but it was wonderful to see my dad and just get away.

Now I am back at home about to watch all the shows that I DVRd over the weekend. For those of you anxiously waiting, I finally finished the Twilight saga. So good!! Tomorrow the job hunt continues and maybe I will try to clean this place up a little! Mike's papers are due in 15 days, so say a little prayer/throw out a little thought for him! Thanks!