The Top Five

If you know absolutely nothing about me, you won't know that we got a dog 10 months ago. If we have met for even two minutes, I am quite sure that I squeezed our dog into the conversation. Mags is the most precious thing ever, and has turned me into a rule breaking, money spending, lying to keep him out of trouble, Momma. Below is a list of things I swore I would never do for any pet. In fact, if you did these things, I probably made fun of you (behind your back, in a southern manner, of course.) But Mags has wiggled his way deep into our hearts and it doesn't look like things will be changing anytime soon.

The Top Five:

5. When you show me pictures of your child, I will pull out my phone to show you pictures of my dog. Eating. Sleeping. Panting.Walking. His first haircut. His first treat. His new collar. Him on the couch, even though he's not supposed to be up there. Each picture is cuter than the last, and it is necessary for you to see ALL of them. I got fussed at for taking this one...because I was driving. (Can't help it - it looked like he was smiling!)

Headed to the dog park. 

4. Mags is fancy. When he gets groomed, we pay just over what I pay for a haircut, and 4 times the amount that Mike pays for a haircut at SuperCuts. The first time Mags went to the salon, I noted the relaxing blueberry facial available for the low price of $43. And I considered it. (It didn't happen. I decided there was no way I could reasonably explain that expense to my husband without both myself and the dog ending up on the streets.)

Summer cut.

3. I buy doggie ice cream. They sell it at the pet store, as well as the grocery store. It is more expensive than the generic brand ice cream sandwiches Mike and I get for a treat. On the same note, I recently asked the guy behind the counter at Ben & Jerry's whether they sold doggie ice cream. When he began laughing at me, I defended myself by explaining that Einstein Bagels offers special doggie bagels, and the company might increase their capital gain by exploring this angle. The cashier did not care whether Ben and Jerry's increases their profits and continued laughing at me. Mike's response: "Jenny. They are hippies, but they are not THAT extreme." A loss for Ben & Jerry's, I say. Don't come crying to me when we follow up on that idea!

This is organic blueberry frozen yogurt. Nothing but the best!

2. If Mags is sleeping a lot or acting different in any way, I take him to the vet. I worry that he has kennel cough, pneumonia, heartworms...? In my defense, we did have a small scare a few months after we got our sweet dog. I took him in because he had been sleeping a lot, and the vet told me he might have cancer. He started back peddling when I began crying and asking questions about the success rate of  using chemo on dogs. I waited anxiously by the phone for 2 days until the lab called to confirm that my dog had not been given a death sentence. Mags has had a lot of medical visits though: X rays for hip dysplasia, antibiotics and eye drops for one infection, cough drops and cough medicine for another. He is due for a vaccine - I am quite sure the vet will find something else we should be concerned with.

1. Mags does not like to go outside when it rains. I do not enjoy getting wet either, but my bathroom is not our backyard. For awhile when it rained, either Mike or I would find a little "surprise" waiting for us in the guest room. One day when Mike was particularly irritated with Mags' stubborn behavior, I heard myself saying, "Would you want to sit in the rain to go to the bathroom? Don't get mad at him - he just doesn't want to get wet!" Sorry Mags-y, I tried. The dog has since learned that the guest bedroom is not a alternate bathroom.

This could be an ad for Diet Coke and Coors Light.. I hope we had just gone to Sam's.

*Bonus*
I wanted to make a top 10 list, but this post was getting too long.

In the event that we have to board Mags, he stays in a suite. Now, we don't upgrade to the deluxe package that offers a television showing Lassie and other canine shows (that would just be silly.) But. Our pup is not locked in a cramped crate with a roomful of other dogs. The suite is sound proof so that our Mags-y doesn't become stressed from other dogs barking. The "hotel" provides a little bed, but we bring his own things so that he feels right at home. Finally, there are 24 hour cameras throughout the facility so that we can watch our child dog on our phones.

If the way one treats their dog is highly correlated with the way they treat their children, we may be in trouble. :-) For now, he makes us happy and we want him to be happy. If it starts to look like I need to pick up a second job, maybe we will reevaluate our priorities.

I took this video the day that I brought Mags home. Sorry it is sideways - with my technical skills, it is a miracle that it is even uploaded.

 Please excuse the screeching, high pitched voice. And no, I didn't realize it was possible to use the word "precious" that many times either.