It's Wedding Season!

Sorry it has been a little while since I wrote. We actually had things to do this weekend, which was a change, and always fun and exciting. Friday night we went to a wedding for one of Mike's cohorts. We had a good time, but it got me thinking about the differences that I have experienced so far between Southern and Northern weddings. When I say "Northern" I mean the 5 I recently have most recently attended; 2 in New Jersey, 2 in St. Louis and 1 in Baltimore. Here are my findings:

1. Band or D.J.? I had never really heard of having a D.J. at a wedding. The majority of the weddings I have been to have bands that sing the classics: "Brown Eyed Girl," "My Girl" and "Shout." Personally, I am not a fan of the chicken dance or the hokey pokey, which may be played by either. The good point of a D.J. is that they usually have more up to date music, but I'm also not sure how I feel to my Grandma dancing to "Back That Ass Up."

2. The Invitation: In the South, you can tell how expensive the invitations were based on how thick the paper is. These invites are very formal, usually with someone contributing their calligraphy as a gift, or having them printed in formal cursive. You can pay additional costs by throwing in a border or a monogram on the top. Additionally there are several sheets of tissue paper and envelopes inside of envelopes to notify you that this is a wedding invitation. Now not all, but some of the weddings that I have been to up here are much less formal in their invitations. They are more like a regular invitation to a engagement party or shower.

3. The Food: This is very important for your guests. I do have a preference to the choices I am going to offer, but I will not reveal it. However, I believe that it is important that you do have enough food to feed your guests, especially if you plan to serve them alcohol. (To be discussed in #4.) The buffet is very southern, with heavy hors d'oeuvres ranging from stuffed mushrooms, cheese plates and chicken fingers. Sometimes there are stations that you can make your way around. This is always fun. You hit the pasta station, then the carving station, etc. The grits station is my favorite - I am so having one of those. Stations are a good way to make sure that everyone is filled up - you just can't consume the champagne when you have only had a few pieces of cheese.

The other option is the sit down dinner. This seems to be more popular in the North, where you check on the return, pre-addressed, pre-stamped envelope: chicken, steak or fish. (By the way, it drives me crazy when people don't send those back. How hard is it to make a little "X" by your name and put it in the mail? Do you know how hard these brides have worked to make this easy on you? They just want an idea of how many people are coming so they can feed you!) But I digress. The only problem I have with the sit down dinner is that sometimes people are so busy, the mingling and dancing starts a little later.

Finally, at both the New Jersey weddings I attended, they had a cocktail hour, that led into the sit down dinner. This thing was amazing. Anything you could imagine at a southern buffet was at the cocktail hour, with a full bar. (Including my favorite, the pasta station.) Then, after an hour or so of visiting, everyone moves into the banquet hall where dinner is served. It is quite a feast and I would suggest fasting the entire day if you plan to attend one of these.

4. The Alcohol - This seems to be pretty universally agreed upon. Everyone seems to want alcohol at the wedding. Whether it is needed for some liquid courage to give a speech or ask the cute bridesmaid to dance, it is always welcomed. You have several options here. Full open bar, open bar with beer and wine, cash bar, or a simple champagne toast. I prefer the full open bar (of course - it is the most expensive) but it can also lead to trouble. The best bet may be to stick with the wine and beer.

5. The Parties - Although this is pre-wedding, this is a big deal in the South. You can have the Engagement party, the Stock the Bar party, the Around the House shower, the Tool and Gadget Party, The Couples Party, The Bridal Tea...the list goes on and on. I love this, but the idea either did not make it up here, or they nixed it. Although it is a lot of events, they are always fun and you generally get to see a different set of people at each event. (PS - You don't have to buy a present for each event either.)

That is pretty much all I can think of in terms of differences. The wedding we attended Friday night was a lot of fun. We were late, as usual, but I have gotten to the point where if it is not an event for my friend, I try not to make a fuss about it. If Mike feels comfortable sneaking into the last pew at his friend's wedding, I will go along with it. The only problem was, this wedding was in a banquet hall and there was no back entrance. Everyone sat at round tables while the ten minute ceremony was performed. Guess how late we were. Yes, ten minutes. We totally missed the ceremony. Then we had to walk through the front doors as the wedding party was taking pictures. I was horrified. "Hi guys! Congrats on that marriage. We are just here for the food and alcohol!"

It ended up being fine. They did have a D.J., and a disco ball at that. At some point I looked over and there was dry ice covering the dance floor. I think I lost the bride for a minute because the smoke was so thick, but hey. That was a new investment I had never thought of...always something new!