Dumb

May I ask what you were doing this morning at 3:15? With my insomnia finally under control, I was fast asleep. Now, if you recall, Mike is working on these comp papers which are due in 10 days. I have gotten used to going to bed by myself because Mike has declared himself a night owl who does his best work from 3 pm to 3 am.

Because of this, I was not surprised when light from the bathroom streamed into my face, waking me up at 3:15.

Me: "Michael - what are you doing?"

Mike: "Don't worry babe. I'm just washing my face."

Me: "Ok, and then you are coming to bed?"

Mike: Silence

Me: "AND THEN YOU ARE COMING TO BED?"

No. Mike had an entirely different idea. Just as an FYI, his wallet disappeared sometime yesterday. Lost, stolen - who knows, but it is gone. We have searched the condo over and over again to no avail. Mike is convinced that the cleaning lady at his school stole the wallet. Apparently this lady has some questionable behavior (Mike claims he smells marijuana when they are both working late, and supposedly, the worker was given the password to all the computers in the department and logs on regularly.)

So instead of coming to bed, Mike informs me that he is going to confront the cleaning lady and get his wallet back. Now I am trying to shake the sleepy haze from my mind, but I am pretty sure this is the one of the dumbest ideas I have ever heard.

Me: "What if she has a gun?"

Mike: "The cleaning lady?"

Me: "I don't know...you know the school is not in the best area."

Mike: "Don't worry babe. It's fine. I've totally thought this out."

Great. He kept saying "I love you" because he knew how dumb of an idea I thought this was. So now I am wide awake thinking about the cleaning lady pulling out her gun or her posse of other cleaning ladies beating Mike up. On his way out the door, I told him, "this reminds me of a _______ idea," naming one of his college friends. This friend recently bought a turquoise golf cart and refused to walk down the aisle on the day of his wedding to anything other than the soundtrack to "Last of the Mohicans." My idea backfired and Mike seemed to think that my comparison made the idea even better.

Well, I fell back asleep and was awakened to Mike's snoring a few hours ago. I got up and let me tell you - there is no wallet to be found in this house. I am anxious for him to wake up just to see how this confrontation went!