Date Night

Mike and I are a pretty romantic couple. The majority of our days are spent staring into each other's eyes and telling the other person how amazing they are. In fact, if you have been reading this blog for awhile, you may have confused it with Nicholas Spark's "The Notebook." It's ok, you're not the first.

Now that you understand our deeply romantic connection, I'm sure you will not be surprised to hear that we spent our Friday evening together at Sam's Wholesale Club. Mike came home from work and I rushed him back into the car because I was starving and we had already decided that Sam's would be the location of our romantic dinner. (Pizza slices for $1.19.) Because I am such an amazing wife, I only complained twice about the amount of trash on the passenger side floor of the car, and only rolled my eyes once when the "Empty" alarm went off to alert us that we would soon be sitting on the side of the road with no gas. I told you, we will make you throw up with all our lovey-ness.

This was our first visit to Sam's in Jacksonville, and we were greeted by a lovely woman who told us quite abruptly that we were trying to come in the through the Exit door and it sure would be nice if people would take the time to read signs. I may or may not have muttered under my breath that there was no sign, but I can't remember because of all the romantical feelings I was having.

Once we got inside, we made a beeline for the refreshment counter. After inhaling slices of pizza and hot dogs, we got up from the picturesque plastic table and chairs and began to shop. My love for my husband grew as he stood for five minutes calculating which toilet paper was less expensive by the SHEET and also when he told me it was his turn to get something fun after we had loaded up the cart with dishwasher detergent and paper towels. (What else does a wife need besides endless rolls of paper goods?)

We strolled through the industrial garage and sweetly helped each other recognize that there is no room in our pantry for a two gallon container of hot sauce, and no, now is not the time for us to start eating cow tongue, even if it is on sale. Each of us might have begun to consider that there was a reason we have never been grocery shopping together. No problem though, we were pressing on with our amorous mission.

I will admit, it was 8:00 pm and I was exhausted. Oddly enough, Friday night seems to be a busy time for the wholesale industry, and I was getting annoyed with all the people pushing their over sized buggies around me.  Mike's patience were also running thin, and he was less than impressed to find out I buy clinical strength deodorant, which just happens to be $5 more than the regular stuff. He gave in though, after I suggested that we share his deodorant (even though that would have been the more romantic solution.)

We finally made it to the check out lines at the same time that everyone else in the store decided to go home. We stood in a line longer than some of the rides at Disney World (with much less end reward) until a young cashier decided to open a new lane, yelling out, "Next in line."

Mike and I dragged our buggy over and were unloading 10 pounds of hamburger meat when another customer yelled from the neighboring line, "Hey! Didn't he say, "NEXT IN LINE?"

The store quieted as Mike and I stared at him. He was a large fellow who didn't look interested in making new friends. Mike asked the nice gentleman if would like to get in front of us, even though it looked as though his items were already loaded onto the conveyor belt.

"NO." He replied. "But I only have 5 packs of water. What makes you think you can break in line? When the guy said, 'NEXT IN LINE' it should have been me."

All eyes were on us as customers stood, turning their heads back and forth between our exchange.

"Alright, come on then," I said. "Bring your stuff over here right now." The man stared at me and decided he was no longer interested in engaging in conversation. He was ignoring me. But now I was mad. Who was this man to ruin my romantic date night in a warehouse? "Come ON!" I said.

The man said nothing, because he is obviously very mature, and we completed our transaction with $250 less in the bank. Fortunately, we were right behind our friend as we waited in line to exit. (Side note - there IS an exit sign inside the store.) Mike tried to smooth things over with a joke about how the company needs an express lane, but the man chose not to say a word. I was frustrated because I am a brooder and will continue to think of things I should have said during this confrontation for the next several days. This man will likely go about his business, never giving me another thought.

We got home and poured ourselves glasses of the $7 wine we had just purchased and...

You decide:

A) stared into each other's eyes. The wine was delicious, and we spent the rest of the evening laughing and completing a Cosmo quiz that told us why we are the best couple in the world

OR

B) immediately spit out the wine because $7 wine is gross EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Watched a movie called, "Sunshine" that Mike swears has the best soundtrack and was overlooked for a Golden Globe in 2007, even though no one has ever heard of it. (Spoiler - it's a horrible movie.)

Regardless of which ending you choose, we are going to have to find another place to do our wholesale shopping - or at least figure out another night on which to do it.  Trying to weave a date night into a practical, money saving outing is not a good idea, even for the most romantic couple in the world.