Mike and I are a pretty romantic couple. The majority of our days are spent staring into each other's eyes and telling the other person how amazing they are. In fact, if you have been reading this blog for awhile, you may have confused it with Nicholas Spark's "The Notebook." It's ok, you're not the first.
Now that you understand our deeply romantic connection, I'm sure you will not be surprised to hear that we spent our Friday evening together at Sam's Wholesale Club. Mike came home from work and I rushed him back into the car because I was starving and we had already decided that Sam's would be the location of our romantic dinner. (Pizza slices for $1.19.) Because I am such an amazing wife, I only complained twice about the amount of trash on the passenger side floor of the car, and only rolled my eyes once when the "Empty" alarm went off to alert us that we would soon be sitting on the side of the road with no gas. I told you, we will make you throw up with all our lovey-ness.
This was our first visit to Sam's in Jacksonville, and we were greeted by a lovely woman who told us quite abruptly that we were trying to come in the through the Exit door and it sure would be nice if people would take the time to read signs. I may or may not have muttered under my breath that there was no sign, but I can't remember because of all the romantical feelings I was having.
Once we got inside, we made a beeline for the refreshment counter. After inhaling slices of pizza and hot dogs, we got up from the picturesque plastic table and chairs and began to shop. My love for my husband grew as he stood for five minutes calculating which toilet paper was less expensive by the SHEET and also when he told me it was his turn to get something fun after we had loaded up the cart with dishwasher detergent and paper towels. (What else does a wife need besides endless rolls of paper goods?)
We strolled through the industrial garage and sweetly helped each other recognize that there is no room in our pantry for a two gallon container of hot sauce, and no, now is not the time for us to start eating cow tongue, even if it is on sale. Each of us might have begun to consider that there was a reason we have never been grocery shopping together. No problem though, we were pressing on with our amorous mission.
I will admit, it was 8:00 pm and I was exhausted. Oddly enough, Friday night seems to be a busy time for the wholesale industry, and I was getting annoyed with all the people pushing their over sized buggies around me. Mike's patience were also running thin, and he was less than impressed to find out I buy clinical strength deodorant, which just happens to be $5 more than the regular stuff. He gave in though, after I suggested that we share his deodorant (even though that would have been the more romantic solution.)
We finally made it to the check out lines at the same time that everyone else in the store decided to go home. We stood in a line longer than some of the rides at Disney World (with much less end reward) until a young cashier decided to open a new lane, yelling out, "Next in line."
Mike and I dragged our buggy over and were unloading 10 pounds of hamburger meat when another customer yelled from the neighboring line, "Hey! Didn't he say, "NEXT IN LINE?"
The store quieted as Mike and I stared at him. He was a large fellow who didn't look interested in making new friends. Mike asked the nice gentleman if would like to get in front of us, even though it looked as though his items were already loaded onto the conveyor belt.
"NO." He replied. "But I only have 5 packs of water. What makes you think you can break in line? When the guy said, 'NEXT IN LINE' it should have been me."
All eyes were on us as customers stood, turning their heads back and forth between our exchange.
"Alright, come on then," I said. "Bring your stuff over here right now." The man stared at me and decided he was no longer interested in engaging in conversation. He was ignoring me. But now I was mad. Who was this man to ruin my romantic date night in a warehouse? "Come ON!" I said.
The man said nothing, because he is obviously very mature, and we completed our transaction with $250 less in the bank. Fortunately, we were right behind our friend as we waited in line to exit. (Side note - there IS an exit sign inside the store.) Mike tried to smooth things over with a joke about how the company needs an express lane, but the man chose not to say a word. I was frustrated because I am a brooder and will continue to think of things I should have said during this confrontation for the next several days. This man will likely go about his business, never giving me another thought.
We got home and poured ourselves glasses of the $7 wine we had just purchased and...
You decide:
A) stared into each other's eyes. The wine was delicious, and we spent the rest of the evening laughing and completing a Cosmo quiz that told us why we are the best couple in the world
OR
B) immediately spit out the wine because $7 wine is gross EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Watched a movie called, "Sunshine" that Mike swears has the best soundtrack and was overlooked for a Golden Globe in 2007, even though no one has ever heard of it. (Spoiler - it's a horrible movie.)
Regardless of which ending you choose, we are going to have to find another place to do our wholesale shopping - or at least figure out another night on which to do it. Trying to weave a date night into a practical, money saving outing is not a good idea, even for the most romantic couple in the world.
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Thursday, October 2, 2014
What Not To Do In a Bookstore and Other Musings
I love books. I've loved them since I was little kid. Perhaps it is because my parents (claim) to have read to me since Day 1. Perhaps it is because when I was growing up, we lived down the street from the library and the easiest, most affordable excursion my mom could manage was to walk/wheel/drag the three of us down the street to pick out some books. [Usually these outings would result in at least one of us reading silently in her room for the rest of the day and my mother could count the excursion as a success.]
Regardless of the reason, books have always been an important part of my life. So last year after quitting my job, having a tumor removed from my abdomen and trying to support my husband as he completed his dissertation, it seemed only natural that I would seek employment in a place that has always offered a sense of calm and stability. (Yes - last year was kind of a bitch.)
I applied for a Bookseller position at a local bookstore. After several follow up phone calls and a pop in visit so the employees could "get to know my face," the manager gave up and hired me. If I was this persistent about getting a job, how great would I be at selling books? And I actually am. I love talking to people about what they are reading and trying to help them find something they will enjoy. I am also pretty nosy and like to ask questions related to what you are buying. If you are buying a travel guide, most likely I will ask you about your trip. Don't be offended. All's fair in the bookstore.
For the most part, bookstore customers are pretty great. Likely they are there to browse, kill a few minutes with a coffee and a magazine, or are excited because their favorite author has just released a new book. With that said, there are a few things that happen on a daily basis that make my skin crawl. If you ever find yourself in a bookstore doing any of the following things, it is time for you to pack up your stuff and head out. You are no longer welcome in this sanctuary as you are making people tense and ruining the atmosphere for everyone.
1) The Adult Magazine - Did you know large bookstores sell adult magazines? I certainly didn't. Here's a hint: If you are buying this type of reading material anywhere but in a gas station in the middle of nowhere, I suggest you save yourself (and me) the embarrassment and just order a subscription. I do not feel comfortable asking you if you found everything alright when there is a naked lady staring provocatively at me. I feel more uncomfortable when you ask me about my day and pretend like this naked lady is not there. Have you never heard of the internet? I'm pretty sure you can find this stuff for free there, without traumatizing your friendly bookseller. And don't even try to tell me the articles are good. Those are on the internet too. Move along.
2) Much To Do About Shakespeare - I try not to be a judgy person. I really do. But when you come in and ask if we have "that book called Shakespeare," I am going to judge. Shakespeare is not a book. He is an author. He has actually written several books! Two in particular are called "Much Ado About Nothing" and "Richard III." These books are not called "Much To Do About Something or Other" or "Richard the Great." Get the facts straight. Don't come to the bookstore and look like an idiot. Another note: There is no book called "Waldo." You are either searching for "Where's Waldo" in the children's section, or "Walden" by Henry David Thoreau. No, they are not the same.
3) Turn Off Your Cell Phone - It drives me INSANE when people are gabbing loudly on their phones in a bookstore. I feel you should act the same way in a bookstore as you would in, say a library. Or church. This is a quiet sanctuary! No one else in the store is worried about the drama in your life - most likely they are already there to find some sort of escape. And stay off the phone when you come to check out. If you are talking to someone else and ignoring me when you put your book on the counter, I will wait until you are done. You are being rude. Self check out in bookstores isn't available yet, so please act accordingly. Hang up the phone!
4) Have You Heard of That Book... - I do my best to keep up to date with recent publications. I listen to NPR and read the newspaper and believe that I am fairly in tune with what people are reading. If you come to me and ask me if I have "that book about a wedding," I'm just not going to be able to help you. Please don't get upset with me. Get on your super smart phone and do your research.
5) I Can Get This So Much Cheaper on Amazon - Then go buy it there! You already made a trip to the bookstore. You have been basking in the glow of my friendly customer service as we searched for 20 minutes trying to find a random book you've imagined. You are not going to get my great (albeit now forced) smile at Amazon! Take the hit, spend the extra $5 and buy the book. You'll save the money in shipping.
6) "My Kids Spend Too Much Money Here: - There are a lot of things that kids spend too much money on. Clothes. Sugar. Video games. That $100 Lego set you just bought that will be used twice before one of the pieces ends up under the couch. Please don't complain that your kid's teacher is making him read and that it costs too much money. There is no evil plan between teachers and bookstores to drain your retirement fund. The plan is to educate your kid so he can become a productive member of society. I promise. Most likely if your kid is reading for enjoyment, she has found a way to escape for a little while into a new and exciting world. It's a good thing. I promise. Try it yourself. Maybe you'll like it.
7) I Already Saw the Movie. I Don't Need to Read the Book. - I can't even address this. I just can't.
8) Do You Think Bookstores are Going to Go Out of Business? - This question makes me sad and I just don't know the answer. I actually own an e-reader and really like it. I think it satisfies our societal need for immediate gratification as there is no need to waste time going to the bookstore, walking by books you have no interest in and searching the shelves until you find what you are looking for. You push a button and your book is ready to go. On the other hand, I think part of the reading experience is taking time to flip through books you may never before have considered. Opening a brand new book and running your hands across the title page. Wandering into the history section and picking out a book on WWII that you didn't realize you were interested in. You lose these things when you use an e-reader.
I hope that bookstores don't go out of business, and not just because of my current employment. I think bookstores (and libraries) are important and need to be supported. So the next time you need a book, take the time to patron your local bookstore. Just make sure you bring the above list with you.
Happy Reading!
Regardless of the reason, books have always been an important part of my life. So last year after quitting my job, having a tumor removed from my abdomen and trying to support my husband as he completed his dissertation, it seemed only natural that I would seek employment in a place that has always offered a sense of calm and stability. (Yes - last year was kind of a bitch.)
I applied for a Bookseller position at a local bookstore. After several follow up phone calls and a pop in visit so the employees could "get to know my face," the manager gave up and hired me. If I was this persistent about getting a job, how great would I be at selling books? And I actually am. I love talking to people about what they are reading and trying to help them find something they will enjoy. I am also pretty nosy and like to ask questions related to what you are buying. If you are buying a travel guide, most likely I will ask you about your trip. Don't be offended. All's fair in the bookstore.
For the most part, bookstore customers are pretty great. Likely they are there to browse, kill a few minutes with a coffee and a magazine, or are excited because their favorite author has just released a new book. With that said, there are a few things that happen on a daily basis that make my skin crawl. If you ever find yourself in a bookstore doing any of the following things, it is time for you to pack up your stuff and head out. You are no longer welcome in this sanctuary as you are making people tense and ruining the atmosphere for everyone.
1) The Adult Magazine - Did you know large bookstores sell adult magazines? I certainly didn't. Here's a hint: If you are buying this type of reading material anywhere but in a gas station in the middle of nowhere, I suggest you save yourself (and me) the embarrassment and just order a subscription. I do not feel comfortable asking you if you found everything alright when there is a naked lady staring provocatively at me. I feel more uncomfortable when you ask me about my day and pretend like this naked lady is not there. Have you never heard of the internet? I'm pretty sure you can find this stuff for free there, without traumatizing your friendly bookseller. And don't even try to tell me the articles are good. Those are on the internet too. Move along.
2) Much To Do About Shakespeare - I try not to be a judgy person. I really do. But when you come in and ask if we have "that book called Shakespeare," I am going to judge. Shakespeare is not a book. He is an author. He has actually written several books! Two in particular are called "Much Ado About Nothing" and "Richard III." These books are not called "Much To Do About Something or Other" or "Richard the Great." Get the facts straight. Don't come to the bookstore and look like an idiot. Another note: There is no book called "Waldo." You are either searching for "Where's Waldo" in the children's section, or "Walden" by Henry David Thoreau. No, they are not the same.
3) Turn Off Your Cell Phone - It drives me INSANE when people are gabbing loudly on their phones in a bookstore. I feel you should act the same way in a bookstore as you would in, say a library. Or church. This is a quiet sanctuary! No one else in the store is worried about the drama in your life - most likely they are already there to find some sort of escape. And stay off the phone when you come to check out. If you are talking to someone else and ignoring me when you put your book on the counter, I will wait until you are done. You are being rude. Self check out in bookstores isn't available yet, so please act accordingly. Hang up the phone!
4) Have You Heard of That Book... - I do my best to keep up to date with recent publications. I listen to NPR and read the newspaper and believe that I am fairly in tune with what people are reading. If you come to me and ask me if I have "that book about a wedding," I'm just not going to be able to help you. Please don't get upset with me. Get on your super smart phone and do your research.
5) I Can Get This So Much Cheaper on Amazon - Then go buy it there! You already made a trip to the bookstore. You have been basking in the glow of my friendly customer service as we searched for 20 minutes trying to find a random book you've imagined. You are not going to get my great (albeit now forced) smile at Amazon! Take the hit, spend the extra $5 and buy the book. You'll save the money in shipping.
6) "My Kids Spend Too Much Money Here: - There are a lot of things that kids spend too much money on. Clothes. Sugar. Video games. That $100 Lego set you just bought that will be used twice before one of the pieces ends up under the couch. Please don't complain that your kid's teacher is making him read and that it costs too much money. There is no evil plan between teachers and bookstores to drain your retirement fund. The plan is to educate your kid so he can become a productive member of society. I promise. Most likely if your kid is reading for enjoyment, she has found a way to escape for a little while into a new and exciting world. It's a good thing. I promise. Try it yourself. Maybe you'll like it.
7) I Already Saw the Movie. I Don't Need to Read the Book. - I can't even address this. I just can't.
8) Do You Think Bookstores are Going to Go Out of Business? - This question makes me sad and I just don't know the answer. I actually own an e-reader and really like it. I think it satisfies our societal need for immediate gratification as there is no need to waste time going to the bookstore, walking by books you have no interest in and searching the shelves until you find what you are looking for. You push a button and your book is ready to go. On the other hand, I think part of the reading experience is taking time to flip through books you may never before have considered. Opening a brand new book and running your hands across the title page. Wandering into the history section and picking out a book on WWII that you didn't realize you were interested in. You lose these things when you use an e-reader.
I hope that bookstores don't go out of business, and not just because of my current employment. I think bookstores (and libraries) are important and need to be supported. So the next time you need a book, take the time to patron your local bookstore. Just make sure you bring the above list with you.
Happy Reading!
Thursday, March 13, 2014
The Song is NOT "I Wanna See You Be Bossy"
I'm bossy. I always have been. But to Sheryl Sandberg's dismay, I work to correct my bossiness every single day.
If you ask my family if I am bossy, I'm pretty sure they would respond with a resounding "yes." In unison. Without pause. But at 33 years old, being "bossy" is not something I'm proud of. Recently, I have heard "Stop that way of thinking! Embrace your Bossiness!" and as much as I would like to jump on board, I'm not sure I am on the #banbossy train.
I was elated when I first heard about the #banbossy campaign. Finally, someone was standing up for girls like me! Girls who know that their way is the right way. Girls who are confident enough to lead without needing the input of others. But then I started thinking...is that really what I want?
Growing up as the oldest, I made sure that my opinion and voice was clearly heard. I was the teacher when my sisters and I played school, and I made up the rules to all our imaginary games. I led conversations at the dinner table while my parents worked hard to hear my sisters talk. I heard, "Jenny, why don't you let someone else talk about their day?" or "Jenny, I want to hear what Julia/Laura/ANYONE ELSE thinks about this" more times than I care to admit.
I loved being bossy and quietly patted myself on the back when I heard someone refer to me as such. There are great attributes attached to the word bossy. Confident, brave and strong come to mind. But , hearing the word "Bossy" also makes us take a step back and wave our red flags. Something not so great must also be going on. My sisters didn't follow my lead because they saw me as a confident 9 year old or a great leader. They did what I said because I was a bully. They knew that if they stood up to me, there was a high risk of me quitting, saying their ideas were stupid, or (on my worst days) slapping them. Those are not the attributes of a leader.
A LEADER inspires others by listening and carefully examining all options before making a decision. A LEADER is willing to admit that sometimes their way is not the right one. A LEADER makes others feel valued, acknowledged and respected.
My bossiness took a backseat at school (I think) because I was too intent on wanting others to like me. I recognized that the girls who led activities and were constantly demanding attention were often the central topic of gossip. To be clear, the gossip was not about what great leaders these girls were. It was about how they always wanted to get their way.
This #banbossy campaign has stirred a national conversation about semantics, and I don't think that was Mrs. Sandberg's intent. Yes, we need to teach our girls to believe in their opinions and also be confident enough to verbally express them. At the same time, we want to teach our girls to be empathetic, loving and good listeners. I work everyday because I don't want my family and friends to think that I am bossy. Yes, I want to get my way and have my opinion acknowledged. What I don't want is for people to appease me because they are scared of my reaction if I don't.
To me, the word bossy represents a controlling, bitchy girl unwilling to compromise. [I did not grow up with brothers, and was fairly awkward with boys for the majority of my adolesent life, so I am not going to argue about whether boys are ever called bossy. I don't have enough information]
BUT - Is banning a word the best way to encourage girls to speak their minds? I don't think so. What I do think, is that bossy is not a word I want to emulate. I do not hope that one day my kids will come home and proudly inform me that they have been labeled bossy. If they do, my husband and I will have to re-evaluate our parenting style. I actually hope that my future children will come home complaining that another has been bossy and they are feeling hurt, unheard or unappreciated. To me, these feelings of being ignored or unacknowledged offer a better opportunity to teach leadership than when someone consistently gets their way. To me, empathy, compassion and love are a much stronger foundation for a strong leader than being #bossy.
If you are searching for other opinions on this topic, check out:
http://iammrsfancypants.blogspot.com/2014/03/banbossy-campaign-gets-it-wrong-and.html
http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2014/03/i-dont-want-to-banbossy-but-i-will.html?m=1
If you ask my family if I am bossy, I'm pretty sure they would respond with a resounding "yes." In unison. Without pause. But at 33 years old, being "bossy" is not something I'm proud of. Recently, I have heard "Stop that way of thinking! Embrace your Bossiness!" and as much as I would like to jump on board, I'm not sure I am on the #banbossy train.
I was elated when I first heard about the #banbossy campaign. Finally, someone was standing up for girls like me! Girls who know that their way is the right way. Girls who are confident enough to lead without needing the input of others. But then I started thinking...is that really what I want?
Growing up as the oldest, I made sure that my opinion and voice was clearly heard. I was the teacher when my sisters and I played school, and I made up the rules to all our imaginary games. I led conversations at the dinner table while my parents worked hard to hear my sisters talk. I heard, "Jenny, why don't you let someone else talk about their day?" or "Jenny, I want to hear what Julia/Laura/ANYONE ELSE thinks about this" more times than I care to admit.
I loved being bossy and quietly patted myself on the back when I heard someone refer to me as such. There are great attributes attached to the word bossy. Confident, brave and strong come to mind. But , hearing the word "Bossy" also makes us take a step back and wave our red flags. Something not so great must also be going on. My sisters didn't follow my lead because they saw me as a confident 9 year old or a great leader. They did what I said because I was a bully. They knew that if they stood up to me, there was a high risk of me quitting, saying their ideas were stupid, or (on my worst days) slapping them. Those are not the attributes of a leader.
A LEADER inspires others by listening and carefully examining all options before making a decision. A LEADER is willing to admit that sometimes their way is not the right one. A LEADER makes others feel valued, acknowledged and respected.
My bossiness took a backseat at school (I think) because I was too intent on wanting others to like me. I recognized that the girls who led activities and were constantly demanding attention were often the central topic of gossip. To be clear, the gossip was not about what great leaders these girls were. It was about how they always wanted to get their way.
This #banbossy campaign has stirred a national conversation about semantics, and I don't think that was Mrs. Sandberg's intent. Yes, we need to teach our girls to believe in their opinions and also be confident enough to verbally express them. At the same time, we want to teach our girls to be empathetic, loving and good listeners. I work everyday because I don't want my family and friends to think that I am bossy. Yes, I want to get my way and have my opinion acknowledged. What I don't want is for people to appease me because they are scared of my reaction if I don't.
To me, the word bossy represents a controlling, bitchy girl unwilling to compromise. [I did not grow up with brothers, and was fairly awkward with boys for the majority of my adolesent life, so I am not going to argue about whether boys are ever called bossy. I don't have enough information]
BUT - Is banning a word the best way to encourage girls to speak their minds? I don't think so. What I do think, is that bossy is not a word I want to emulate. I do not hope that one day my kids will come home and proudly inform me that they have been labeled bossy. If they do, my husband and I will have to re-evaluate our parenting style. I actually hope that my future children will come home complaining that another has been bossy and they are feeling hurt, unheard or unappreciated. To me, these feelings of being ignored or unacknowledged offer a better opportunity to teach leadership than when someone consistently gets their way. To me, empathy, compassion and love are a much stronger foundation for a strong leader than being #bossy.
If you are searching for other opinions on this topic, check out:
http://iammrsfancypants.blogspot.com/2014/03/banbossy-campaign-gets-it-wrong-and.html
http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2014/03/i-dont-want-to-banbossy-but-i-will.html?m=1
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
The Aftermath
Oh y'all. I'm upset. As you may know, around noon yesterday, Snowmeggedon 2014 hit Birmingham, AL. If you're not from Birmingham, you probably didn't know that it started this early - Atlanta wasn't hit until 4:00 that afternoon. That's when the national news began reporting and it actually became an emergency. The problem is, by then people in Alabama had already been stuck in their cars for hours. Highways were frozen over. Roads were impassable.
My parents are still in Birmingham, along with the majority of the people I grew up with. At 10:15 am, I received a text from a friend with a picture of the snow as she drove to pick her two year old up from daycare. "Ummm, it's a blizzard in Bham!!" she wrote, and sent a picture of falling snow. I chuckled and told Mike, "It's snowing in Birmingham!" He smiled and said, "You wish you were there, don't you?" And I did. The South is known for panicking during cold weather, and I guessed my friend would pick up her child and enjoy a few snow days snuggled up with her loved ones. I was actually a little bit jealous.
But my friend kept texting and I could tell by her words that things weren't so funny anymore. "It's awful. I'm sliding all over the place and can't get to [her child's] school." Traffic was a mess because Birmingham is in the foothills of the Appalachian mountains and there are hills. LOTS of steep, winding hills that were now covered in ice. Between 10:15 and 12:30, my friend inched along in her car, waiting to get to the school. She arrived home with her daughter, and a bonus child, her nephew. My friend's sister had been unable to get to the school and her husband was stranded at Wal-Mart. As far as I know, he's still there. Two hours in the car ended up being a short trip.
I pulled up Facebook and saw dozens of updates from people who were stuck in traffic. EVERYONE was on the road, trying to make it home from work, pick up their kids from school, or both. I emailed my father and asked him to please be careful. He wrote back, "It's hardly snowing." He's from Virginia and tends not to worry when there is white precipitation coming down. My "Yankee" father ended up walking 3.5 miles home from work last night because the street was a strip of ice. No hat, coat or gloves because this sort of thing just doesn't happen in Alabama. Luckily, a sweet lady at his office loaned him a scarf that he used to wrap around his neck.
Y'all, it's bad. People are stuck on the roads, in drug stores, and at work. Hundreds of children, teachers and parents spent the night in schools last night. A lady gave birth on the highway. Thousands of people braved single digit temperatures in their cars because there was no place else to go. People are dying.
This has nothing to do with Southerners overreacting. It's not funny. When I moved to St. Louis, my first winter was tough. I did not own scarves, hats or gloves because I had never needed them before. Most of my coats had only been purchased to accent an outfit. It would have been a waste of money for me to purchase these items and let them sit in the the closet, year after year, "just in case" snow came to Louisiana, Mississippi or Alabama. Similarly, Birmingham, Atlanta and many other Southern cities have not invested in hundreds of snow plows and salting trucks. Our money and knowledge is focused on keeping people safe during hurricanes and tornadoes. That's what we're used to. I have been shocked by the nasty comments I have seen in response to these events. This morning I read this, in response to a CNN article focused on the Atlanta city shut down:
"People have no sense. Keep a kit in your car, and get off the road if you're not moving. Sleeping in your car, or waiting it out in a hotel is much better than paying your insurance deductible and going through the claims process. Slow down and take it as a time for some personal reflection. I have waited out tornados in K-mart, Severe rain storms in Walmart, and traffic jams in restaurants. Stop being in such a hurry to get where your going, you'll get there eventually, and will be less stressed than sitting in traffic fighting for those precious inches to get home."
I am amazed. People HAVE been waiting. They are not in a hurry. They have been stuck on the road for TWELVE hours! I don't recall anyone saying such ugly things when tornadoes hit Moore, Oklahoma or Hurricane Sandy hit New Jersey. You know why? Because people are hurting, and making fun of the situation does not help anyone. It is not funny when a natural disaster hits an area that is unprepared for it. No amount of sarcasm is going to improve the situation.
Fortunately, most people are nice, particularly in the South. Put a National Disaster in front of a group of Southerners and they turn into saints. Many people opened their homes to strangers last night. Facebook friends reported where they lived and that their houses were open - for anyone. Chili, hot chocolate and stiff drinks were ready and waiting as people who had never met were ushered into each other's homes. Men were out on four-wheelers rescuing people who were stuck in cars. (Who's laughing now at those red necks who go muddin'?) Kindness prevailed. Love wins.
This is not anyone's fault. This is not the meteorologist's fault, or the school's fault or the government's fault. Meteorologists are getting nasty, nasty things written to them. Birmingham's own James Spann apologized in a blog post this morning, writing:
"I guess I know how Cade Foster feels (the University of Alabama place kicker who took heat after the Auburn game).
If you are know anything about college football, you know how badly he must be feeling.
There is no one to blame. It is just a huge mess and people need help. People need to be supported. People need to be loved. So please, stop making fun and see what you can do to help. If there is nothing you can do, that's ok. Just be kind. Be empathetic. Believe me, the people in the Southeast are wishing they were "snowed in" with a half inch of fluffy white stuff too.
My parents are still in Birmingham, along with the majority of the people I grew up with. At 10:15 am, I received a text from a friend with a picture of the snow as she drove to pick her two year old up from daycare. "Ummm, it's a blizzard in Bham!!" she wrote, and sent a picture of falling snow. I chuckled and told Mike, "It's snowing in Birmingham!" He smiled and said, "You wish you were there, don't you?" And I did. The South is known for panicking during cold weather, and I guessed my friend would pick up her child and enjoy a few snow days snuggled up with her loved ones. I was actually a little bit jealous.
But my friend kept texting and I could tell by her words that things weren't so funny anymore. "It's awful. I'm sliding all over the place and can't get to [her child's] school." Traffic was a mess because Birmingham is in the foothills of the Appalachian mountains and there are hills. LOTS of steep, winding hills that were now covered in ice. Between 10:15 and 12:30, my friend inched along in her car, waiting to get to the school. She arrived home with her daughter, and a bonus child, her nephew. My friend's sister had been unable to get to the school and her husband was stranded at Wal-Mart. As far as I know, he's still there. Two hours in the car ended up being a short trip.
I pulled up Facebook and saw dozens of updates from people who were stuck in traffic. EVERYONE was on the road, trying to make it home from work, pick up their kids from school, or both. I emailed my father and asked him to please be careful. He wrote back, "It's hardly snowing." He's from Virginia and tends not to worry when there is white precipitation coming down. My "Yankee" father ended up walking 3.5 miles home from work last night because the street was a strip of ice. No hat, coat or gloves because this sort of thing just doesn't happen in Alabama. Luckily, a sweet lady at his office loaned him a scarf that he used to wrap around his neck.
Y'all, it's bad. People are stuck on the roads, in drug stores, and at work. Hundreds of children, teachers and parents spent the night in schools last night. A lady gave birth on the highway. Thousands of people braved single digit temperatures in their cars because there was no place else to go. People are dying.
This has nothing to do with Southerners overreacting. It's not funny. When I moved to St. Louis, my first winter was tough. I did not own scarves, hats or gloves because I had never needed them before. Most of my coats had only been purchased to accent an outfit. It would have been a waste of money for me to purchase these items and let them sit in the the closet, year after year, "just in case" snow came to Louisiana, Mississippi or Alabama. Similarly, Birmingham, Atlanta and many other Southern cities have not invested in hundreds of snow plows and salting trucks. Our money and knowledge is focused on keeping people safe during hurricanes and tornadoes. That's what we're used to. I have been shocked by the nasty comments I have seen in response to these events. This morning I read this, in response to a CNN article focused on the Atlanta city shut down:
"People have no sense. Keep a kit in your car, and get off the road if you're not moving. Sleeping in your car, or waiting it out in a hotel is much better than paying your insurance deductible and going through the claims process. Slow down and take it as a time for some personal reflection. I have waited out tornados in K-mart, Severe rain storms in Walmart, and traffic jams in restaurants. Stop being in such a hurry to get where your going, you'll get there eventually, and will be less stressed than sitting in traffic fighting for those precious inches to get home."
I am amazed. People HAVE been waiting. They are not in a hurry. They have been stuck on the road for TWELVE hours! I don't recall anyone saying such ugly things when tornadoes hit Moore, Oklahoma or Hurricane Sandy hit New Jersey. You know why? Because people are hurting, and making fun of the situation does not help anyone. It is not funny when a natural disaster hits an area that is unprepared for it. No amount of sarcasm is going to improve the situation.
Fortunately, most people are nice, particularly in the South. Put a National Disaster in front of a group of Southerners and they turn into saints. Many people opened their homes to strangers last night. Facebook friends reported where they lived and that their houses were open - for anyone. Chili, hot chocolate and stiff drinks were ready and waiting as people who had never met were ushered into each other's homes. Men were out on four-wheelers rescuing people who were stuck in cars. (Who's laughing now at those red necks who go muddin'?) Kindness prevailed. Love wins.
This is not anyone's fault. This is not the meteorologist's fault, or the school's fault or the government's fault. Meteorologists are getting nasty, nasty things written to them. Birmingham's own James Spann apologized in a blog post this morning, writing:
"I guess I know how Cade Foster feels (the University of Alabama place kicker who took heat after the Auburn game).
If you are know anything about college football, you know how badly he must be feeling.
There is no one to blame. It is just a huge mess and people need help. People need to be supported. People need to be loved. So please, stop making fun and see what you can do to help. If there is nothing you can do, that's ok. Just be kind. Be empathetic. Believe me, the people in the Southeast are wishing they were "snowed in" with a half inch of fluffy white stuff too.
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