Valentine's Day and the Learning Curve

Before I start, I want you to know that I have re-written this post at least three times. I just can't seem to say exactly what I want to get across. That being said, you have been warned.

I love Valentine's Day. It's not because I have a "Valentine" either. I think it is such a wonderful time to let people know how much you love and appreciate them. (Even if you are lazy like me and just send a text.) At work we had a "potluck Valentine's Day" lunch and our sweet secretary brought everyone cards and candy. It's those little sorts of things that you are not expecting that always make ANY day special.Think about when you are in elementary school. You don't just have a Valentine's Day party for one person - you bring a Valentine's card for everyone in the class. Yes, as you get older, Valentine's Day becomes more about WHO will be your ONE Valentine, and maybe the idea gets distorted...

So for those people who claim that Valentine's Day is just a holiday created for Hallmark and the floral industry - I have a proposition. Just think about it as any other day. I recognize this is sometimes easier said than done. I have issues with expectations, and when a "holiday" comes along that was created for someone to boast their love to you, things tend to fall apart.

So, this year, Mike and I had a Valentine's Day re-do. The first one just didn't go so well....

Instead of writing about what actually happened on V-day, I am going to tell you what I learned. I think it will be more positive, and I am just not ready to air ALL my dirty laundry on this blog. So..I am going to talk about expectations. For as long as I can remember, my mother has told me not to have them. She says that you will always be disappointed if you do, and you will always be pleasantly surprised if you don't. Good words to live by. One of the things that Mike and I are learning about marriage is that everyone comes into it with certain expectations of what their role is in the union, as well as as what their spouse's role "should" be. (That is another word my mom says not to use.)

I think each person enters a relationship with an idea of what chores they expect to be responsible for, how their money will be spent, and how they plan to raise their kids. As many discussions as you may have prior to getting married, I personally believe that nothing will teach you what your partner really envisions until you are thrown into the deep end with no life jacket. I made this Valentine's Day into a huge deal in my head because it was our "First Married Valentine's Day." Did that mean that Mike loved me more on Monday than he usually does? No. Did I tell him not to buy me flowers because they are too expensive and we are having budget cuts? Yes. So, why did I expect there to be roses waiting for me when I got home from work? I assumed (by the way, this is another bad word) that since Mike has bought flowers for me every year since we have known each other, that he would still buy them. (PS - that is not all that the fight was about, because that sounds very bratty.)

One thing I learned this week is you can't expect someone to read your mind. Another thing I am learning is that communication is key. Again, I KNOW this in my head, it is putting is actually putting it to work. Again, until specific events pop up, you never know how another person is going to react. Mike had no idea that on Monday I had a horrible day at work and wanted some sort of surprise/sympathy/acknowledgment when I got home. In his mind, a nice dinner at home and hanging out was just the fix. In my mind, a banner professing his love, confetti and a mini parade would have done the trick. I guess this goes along with not expecting someone to read your mind. We are learning to merge how the other person expresses themselves and accept this. Screaming from the rooftop, "I LOVE THIS WOMAN!!" is not Mike's style. And that's ok, because honestly, we never would have had more than one date if it was.

I apologize that this post is vague and kind of rambling, but what I am going to do is take my own advice and start treating Valentine's Day like every other day. Better yet, why don't we treat every day like Valentine's Day? So, don't be surprised if you start getting random texts from me on any ordinary day telling you how much I appreciate you. I hope you all had a wonderful week. Thanks for listening :-)

Pictures Tell a Story Too

So, I have pictures to entertain you regarding the previous post. I am just going to post them separately b/c I didn't upload them before I blogged....

Here is our house after the first ice storm...



Here is my attempt at a snowman...we didn't have anything for eyes - can you find him?


The next few pretty much explain themselves:



At least they are all natural?



I can't eat fries anymore after this fiasco..



This is my Julia Child's attempt. Although it looks as though the plate is overloaded with asparagus, I had already eaten a lot of the beef....



This is what the kitchen looked like 4 hours after I started cooking. I mean honestly, three loads of dishes later? It was well worth it.
PS - See that cool, multi wood cutting board in the picture? My dad made that :-)

Hi!

Well here we go! CONGRATULATIONS to Rachel and Bart and their new precious addition, Anna Barton. She is just gorgeous and I cannot wait to meet her in person! I think (as far as I know) this will be it for at least a few more months when my sister in law is due with her little girl. So many sweet babies!!!

Are you wondering where we have been? I can honestly tell you that the last week and a half of this weather had kind of thrown us off. Being iced in is fun for about two days...then you start to get antsy. I did make a snowman, while Mike peered from the window and asked me how old I was. I had to explain to him when there is a snow day in the south, you take full advantage. I went outside in the most mis-matched outfit I could possibly have found, (socks on my hands) but I can assure you, I was warm. The only thing we had available to decorate this snowman was some celery for the arms...it was a sad sight.

We got back to work this week and have returned to regular programming. Work is going well and Mike has started his classes again. I actually made my first Julia Child's recipe last Sunday for the Super Bowl....I know it is not wings and pizza, but my beef borganon turned out great! In other news, my husband bought a fryer. I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, but with the amount of wings he consumes, I could only see this as an aid to an early heart attack. After making a valid point that the majority of our wedding presents were used for pots, pans and china that really help me more than him, he went to Macy's to use some of our left over money. He also stopped at Sam's - it took him 3 trips to unload the car of wings, frying oil, french fries and pretty much anything else you can think of that could be fried.

I will tell you, the wings were actually pretty good, but the sound of the grease bubbling and popping up kind of made me sick. After we gorged ourselves Saturday night with greasy goodness, I couldn't bear to eat more the next night. When I heard the fryer start going at 2:00 one morning I started thinking this could have been a really bad idea. However, I think the novelty is starting to wear off and I might be able to tuck that thing away in a cupboard soon. I just have to figure out where to put the Sam's sized oil...

So, tomorrow is Valentine's Day....what are your plans? We are having a lunch at work where people are bringing things that are red... I am making ziti, and someone else is bringing red velvet cake. I am trying to figure out how to incorporate my Old Navy t-shirt that says, "Be Mine" into a "business casual" outfit. Mike asked me what I wanted and I said, "It is up to you, but remember, this is setting the precedent for the rest of our lives." Was that too much? :-)

Oh! We went and saw "Just Go With It" last night...it was HILARIOUS! I swear Mike was giggling through the entire thing, and I literally was laughing so hard I was crying...definitely worth seeing that one in the theater. Ok, I am sure that I will have a report on V-Day soon. Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!

Stir Crazy

Well, we have been iced in our home for three days now. Who would have believed that the first year we moved to Texas would result in an ice storm? I am fine with it here though. It feels like home. Everything is shut down and the grocery store (from what I understand) is completely bare. I made cookies the other night and had to skate over to my neighbor's house and borrow cinnamon. They are a sweet older couple who actually invited us over for dinner tonight. I told her I would bring cookies, but I have to make a new batch because that first one was horrible! They literally would have made a hole in the wall of we had thrown one.

Whether or not my work is open is dependent on the Dallas School System. As there have been almost 1000 schools closed over the past three days, we have not been at work. Mike's school has also been closed, which has left us....staring at each other. Yesterday we watched a lot of tv. When dinner time came, Mike decided he wanted wings and pizza. I was terrified for him to be driving anywhere, but his mind was set. He said he only slid twice; once on accident and once in the parking lot when he was trying to?? Anyway, we rented The Social Network and then "Saw, The Final Chapter." Interesting fact: Mike and I have seen every Saw together. Although they probably won't win any Oscars, we are always entertained. However, this last one was AWFUL! Do not spend money to see this movie. The plus was that Mike made a fire (with the one log of wood we had left) and I sat and ate hard cookies.

Today started with a fun discussion about the budget...that's all I have to say about that.

My rib is still bothering me, and making it difficult to sleep on my stomach. Plus, we have both gotten some sort of cold. Mike is a lot worse off than I am, but we are probably not the picture of health right now. That's about it....it is supposed to snow here again tonight, and I am wondering what the work outcome is going to be. I would post some pictures, but it is just not pretty. Ok, I guess I am going to attempt that second batch of cookies - who knew I was such a Martha Stewart?!