Stressors

Hello friends, I am back. I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving and is gearing up for the holiday season. I finally got the tree up last night and a few Christmas knick knacks that makes our condo just a little more fun to live in! By the way, one thing I have noticed up here is that very few people use live Christmas trees. I always thought live ones were the norm, but maybe I am wrong. Last year after a lot of discussion, I gave in and bought a fake tree from Target. The reasoning was that we live in a condo and Mike told me that live trees are fire hazards and not allowed. I still don't know if I believe him, but at least I have a tree.

So the question of the day is: How do you handle stress? Generally I run or yell at people and am able to deal with it that way. (The running is really best since I am in the "restaurant biz.") Regardless, generally after I finish running or yelling, I feel much better and am able to go on about my day. Since Thanksgiving, something has been building that neither running, yelling or crying can take care of. (Believe me, I have tried them all - poor Mike.) My body has begun to internalize my stress and I can barely move my neck due to the large knot surrounding my spine. Don't worry - I did first think that it was a brain tumor but it keep changes positions, so I am pretty sure I am in the clear as far as that goes.

I cannot for the life of me pin point what the problem is. However, last night as I was trying to go to sleep (ROLL TIDE!) I realized it is probably several things that I cannot fix and have all been building up to cause my neck to hurt. If you are already bored, you may want to stop reading, because I am about to list my issues.....

First, I have been stabbed in the back at my job. Not kidding. I found out the other day that one of my co-workers is trying to get me fired!! Here's how it went down. One of my best friends at work is the dishwasher...he takes care of me when I am running around by putting my dishes up, or telling me to calm down when he can tell I want to kill a rude customer. He is also my eyes and ears in the back which is where the managers talk about people. (They don't have an office and apparently think that no one that works in the kitchen is listening to them.) SO - the other day he reminded me to stay calm while I am working because one of the managers is trying desperately to get me fired. WHAT?? I have a feeling of who it is, but I was shocked because no one has sat me down to tell me any major things that I am doing wrong.

When I came back into the kitchen, I asked my buddy what I was doing wrong. He then dropped the bomb by explaining to me that one of my co-workers has been complaining about me to the managers. Seriously?? He then told me that it was someone that I have been out to have drinks with. Well, that is easy. I have only been out to have drinks once, and I knew exactly who he was talking about. So, I confronted another manager who, of course, played dumb. So we shall see. All I can say is that if I get fired from a pizza joint, I'm not sure my life can get any lower!

The next thing that I believe is contributing to the knot in my neck is our upcoming wedding. Don't worry, I am thrilled and truly can't wait for June 5th to arrive, but I don't like loose ends and there are a lot of them still out there. I have been having a lot of dreams about the wedding where everything goes wrong. Examples: My dad is no where to be found to walk me down the aisle; Mike is not at the alter when I get up there (Do you think I have abandonment issues?) Another favorite is when my bridesmaids show up in different dresses because they are going to someone else's wedding!! The list goes on and on and I always wake up thinking, "what the hell was that all about?" I just want every contract signed, sealed and delivered ASAP so I don't have to worry about them anymore.

I believe the final issue is that fact that I have been searching for a "real job" for over a year and have not been able to find anything. It is stressful knowing that your salary depends on how the people you are serving feel that night. Additionally, it appears that with the recession, people are not coming to eat pizza as often as they have in years past, and are willing to eat the pizza as long as the skimp on the tip. Aside from the money, I cannot handle my odd hours which leave me with no social life. I recognize it was not big in the first place, but even Mike and I are on different schedules, which makes things stressful. I have worked 6 days in a row and will be doing the same thing next week. It is exhausting.

So - that is what is going on. Sorry to unload everything, but I haven't really had a chance to get to the computer....I hope everyone is getting into the holiday spirit and enjoying shopping and spending time with friends and family.

Finally - Happy Birthday to my sister Laura!!!