This morning, I woke up, went for a run (in a t-shirt!!) and started cleaning the house and laughing as I watched Mike vacuum our deck area again. The windows were open and I began thinking, "What a great day!" Well, of course, this could not be the case. Something had to happen. (Don't worry, everyone is alive and safe, I just got really, really angry.)
As I completed sweeping about an inch of dirt of the bathroom floor (don't judge, I hate cleaning) I brought up how excited I am to leave in December because we do not have enough space in the condo for all the junk that has accumulated between us. (Rule #425 not to live in a condo - there is no storage space.) Anyway, Mike decided that was the perfect time to look at me shocked and exclaim "December? Who said anything about leaving in December?" Y'all my heart dropped to my stomach and both started beating really quickly. "What are you talking about?" I not so politely asked. Mike continued to explain that since his revisions to his comps are due in March, he will need 12-14 months to then start his dissertation and complete it.
I don't know how to explain how I was feeling at that particular point in time. Angry, disappointed, mostly angry. For the past, at least 6 months, I have been under the impression that we were moving in December 2010. This gave me a deadline to look forward to, and although I have adjusted to some parts of St. Louis, I still miss my friends and family desperately. I also feel like I have put my career on hold. I understand that I made a decision to move up here, and another to not re-take the bar in Missouri, but that was while I was under the impression that we would be out of here within a year. I feel I was fraudulently induced to continue living up here. (I have to stay on top of my legal lingo.)
Mike informed me that I already knew this deadline, but it must have been hard for him to believe himself while I was standing there yelling and crying. Not to give you TOO much detail, but I eventually grabbed my purse and left, trying to figure out where to go to calm down. Now, keep this mental picture in mind. I am wearing spandex running pants, a running shirt and a hoodie. I have no makeup on because I had not showered since my run and - I had not showered since my run. I was a mess. Besides, I am not one of those pretty criers. My eyes get puffy and my whole face turns red.
I found myself at the mall, and was actually just going to park and compose myself (I promise) when I started thinking about going to see Valentine's Day. I have been wanting to see it, so I looked up when it started. (These are the times when I am glad to have a "smart phone.") 15 minutes. Awesome! I drove closer to the movie area and dashed inside. At that point I thought, "How great is it that I don't know anyone here? I am disgusting!" I bought my ticket and grabbed a seat in the comforting darkness. Although the theater was packed, I was on a row alone...I must have looked dangerous.
I actually enjoy going to movies by myself. No one really cares if you are by yourself and you can laugh or cry in the privacy of your own seat. A few minutes into the movie, 2 tweens did come and sit right next to my, texting throughout the entire movie. What is the deal with that? But I kept my composure and tried to relax.
Y'all - this movie is hilarious. I wasn't sure what to think based on the reviews but I was laughing and crying hysterically. I may have been a little over enthused based on my recent breakdown, but I really enjoyed all the plot lines. After the movie, I rushed to get in the car so no one would see me, and headed home. Mike and I are fine....but we are having a little discussion tomorrow. I was so tired and went to bed at 8:00. Sorry if this is a little more detail than you were expecting, but you know I am never going to write about how everything in life is roses. Let's face it - it's not, and it never makes me feel good about myself when other people write that way. It just can't be true.
I know this is getting long, but the thing I keep reminding myself of is the story my mom tells about moving to Birmingham from Virginia. Dad got a job in Birmingham and promised my mother we would only stay for five years. At the time, they had me, 2 years old and Julia, 2 WEEKS old. Mom obviously moved and waited her obligatory five years. When dad came home to tell her that he had been offered a permanent position in the department, my mother cried for a week. However, now you can't get her to move. Growing up, I remember job offers that my father had, but mom stood her ground. So maybe that's the trick. I will wait out my time here and then stabilize the situation once we move.
So that was Saturday. On the bright side, I don't have to change my blog title for another year! Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend!!
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