Mike and I just finished watching "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close." And I cried. I cried like I cried in the theaters when "Titanic" came out. Big, fat tears with my nose dripping. Crying like someone I knew had died. Crying to the point that Mike said, "Wow. I don't think I have ever seen you cry that hard. Ever. Have you seen yourself cry?" Believe me, it's not pretty - I know. If you haven't seen the movie, I will simply tell you that it revolves around the events of 9/11.
When 9/11 occurred, I was in New Orleans for college, but surrounded by a surprising amount of people from the Northeast. Our school was shut down for a week while students went home in hysterics. I remember sitting in front of the television for HOURS, sobbing about people that I didn't know until my roommates made me leave the living room so that the house could watch something a little more cheery. I get attached to people - even people I don't really know.
Interestingly enough, this discussion leads right into talking about my new job! (Wasn't that a nice segway?) I haven't written here for more than a month - I can't believe how quickly the time has gone. I love where I am working, who I am working with and what I am doing. I am learning so much about a very ignored population that I will discuss on a soapbox in another post. The hardest thing that I am dealing with is seeing how many people are homeless, and knowing that I can't bring them all home and tuck them in the second bedroom. I feel like Mike may not be open to this (even though he may not discover them for a little while.)
Everyday I know that there will be a new problem to solve or new issues to handle. Today I was in the hospital room when a man was told that his biopsy results showed malignant tumors and the doctors are going to stop chemo because his body is shutting down. He nodded, looked at me and continued making arrangements to come live in our facility. He showed me his funeral plans, including the letter to his pastor of what psalm to read and a list of things that make him happy. I am constantly amazed by the emotional strength our clients have, as well as their stories. I am scared for the day to come when I walk into the house one morning and learn that one of them has passed away. I think I may be more scared than they are.
The full half of the glass is that I do know we are helping people. Recently a man left our facility and moved into an apartment. He had spent years circling from homeless shelters to the hospital, but finally ended up in our little "home." He still calls us to keep us abreast of what is going on, and comes back to motivate other clients. I am so proud of him and cannot begin to imagine the sense of accomplishment he feels.
In short - I don't think ALL the sobbing was about the movie. I am trying to help 90,000 people in just the Dallas area. It's a lot of people. But I feel like I am on the right track and am so thrilled that I am excited to get up every morning to start a new day at work. Hope y'all are well! I will try to write about something a little lighter next time!
(Sorry if this was Extremely Long and Incredibly Depressing.) (With no happy pictures!)
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