Ramblings of an Insomniac Bride

So....I have to tell this story because it is hilarious. Right after I wrote the blog about Oprah, my parents and youngest sister went to TN to find a place for her to live next year. (She will be starting grad school.) While they were with the realtor, my other sister called to tell my mother that the lady who was doing the alterations on my wedding gown had called. Her name is Coco. (Can you see where this is going?) Mom hung up without questioning Julia, and told my father, sister and the realtor that Oprah had personally called me. I mean, seriously? I still think that is hysterical!

Hope all is well with everyone. I have been in Birmingham since last Tuesday, getting my wedding groove on. We are having final appointments with different vendors and just getting all the loose ends tied up. This past Saturday, my friends who I have grown up with threw me a bridal tea. Let me tell you something I have learned being a bride. I don't know what the heck I am doing. The tea started at 2:30 and for some reason, I decided I had plenty of time to work out, shower and get ready before we needed to leave. I did not factor in that the bride is supposed to be early to these events. As I was putting on my fabulous new blue wedges, I noted that it was 2:30. I shuffled mom and my future mother in law into the car and jumped out at the place where the super cute shower was set up. We were having tornadoes and rain all that day. As I burst through the front door (with guests looking at me because they arrived BEFORE me) I realized I probably looked like a hurricane myself. I tried to compose myself with a mimosa before I started to make the rounds.

The shower was wonderful. I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends and family, and felt so grateful that they would want to throw me a party. That evening my girlfriends and I went out for a wonderful dinner and caught up on life. It was perfect.

Aside from that, we have another shower to attend this weekend in ATL. Some of Mike's mother's friends are throwing it and I am very excited. My grandmother is coming in town from Virginia to make the party as well. I think it is going to be a blast. Oh! And we finally nailed down a honeymoon spot! We will be spending 7 luxurious day in Aruba. No Natalie Holloway comments please.

Poor Mike has been at home alone, but he seems to be doing just fine. He called me at 11 pm to tell me that his friend had "kidnapped" him and they were headed to the casinos. That's fine, I will just keep logging in all the RSVPs that we have received and writing thank you notes. I did leave him alone without thinking that we are getting presents and he is by himself with them. He opened one over the phone tonight and didn't stop until 3 were opened. I am scared of what I am going to find when I get home. He may have already had several meals on our fine china!

Oh! I forgot to tell you that I got a new job....waitressing. I know - I wasn't a very good waitress, but this basically fell into my lap. A friend of a friend owns a restaurant and asked if they knew anyone who needed a job. Ding, ding, ding! I think this is going to be a much more laid back environment, and hopefully enjoyable. They even said if I am any good, they may put me behind the bar! (I guess I don't need to tell them I spilled a beer on that 4 year old kid at my other job...)

Hope everyone is surviving this miserable pollen - I am not. Have a great week!

Oprah

When you say or hear, "Oprah" isn't it funny what sort of a reaction is stirred up? Some people hate her, some people think she is fabulous, but everyone has to chime in when someone says, "Hey - did you see that Oprah yesterday?" Generally, I enjoy the show but I do think she has become a little narcissistic this late in her career. She tends to compete with the guest counselors that appear on the program to put in her two cents, and is suddenly an expert about sexual abuse and predators because she was a victim. Now don't get me wrong, I think she has probably invested a lot of money with a therapist to become an expert, but it does kind of get on my nerves. Either way she is a household name and at this point can really say whatever she wants. You can watch or not watch - it's your choice.

Monday there was a show on (the third in a series) about sexual offenders. Now, I already have a strong opinion about this and the people who offend, but I am not going to get into that here. What I was angered by was how Oprah made it so clear how much she hated anyone that has ever abused a child. It was completely skewed towards her experiences and really didn't give anyone the option of disagreeing with her. Now, I am not disagreeing, and I hope this blog doesn't become controversial, but her feelings were intense. It was no longer an afternoon talk show that is in the background while you make dinner. She was calling them monsters as she described to us the island off Washington state that is available for the "Most Violent Sex Offenders." Essentially, it is a place where sex offenders are sent AFTER they have served their criminal sentence, but a judge determines they are not fit to be re-introduced to society. More or less, this is punishing a person before they have committed a crime.

This institution is funded by tax payer dollars ($165,000 per person/year) and is basically a college atmosphere where these people may stay until they decide they want to go through the treatment system, when they may then be let out. If you never decide to attend therapy, no biggie. You can stay there until you die. Oprah LOVES this place. She LOVES that these people are locked away on an island away from society. Without going into detail, this really hit a nerve with me so I decided to join the Oprah fan club. And write her some fan mail that was not very "Fannish." I am hoping that my negative reaction among the hundreds of emails praising her strength and perseverance she will notice mine. Not so sweet. Not so loving. And she will invite me on her show.

She will say, "Today ladies and gentlemen, is a voice that has spoken out against me. Come on out, JEEEEENNNNNY!!!!" Then we will discuss the matter at hand, she will pay off my student loans and set me up with a sweet job in a Family Law Firm. Is that too much to ask?

One of my friends asked me tonight, "Do you ever feel like someone is just pushing you to see how much you can take of life sucking?" I started laughing, but not too hard because she had just gotten mugged. That's right. Here in my awesome town. In broad day light. This blog is too long, but that is your story for tomorrow.

If you DID see that Oprah, I would be interested to hear what your thoughts are on the building in Washington.

P90X and Some Blogging Competition

So, I haven't written in about a week. The wedding mania has calmed, and I have become focused on how I am going to lose just a little bit of weight for the wedding. (This is because I made a batch of dip last night and ate the whole thing. I can't stop myself.) Anyway, dad and I decided that we would not be in shape to run a 1/2 marathon in the time we had left, and my knee was hurting from the last one, so I got the P90X videos. If you are not familiar with this program, it is a set of 12 DVDs that you do each day (with one day of resting) for 90 days. I am pretty sure they were created in hell. They promise results in 90 days if you are consistent.

The problem I have run into is that I cannot move after I complete these workouts. I am literally so sore that getting off the couch is a problem. And I am sore in places that I didn't even work out! I did push ups/pull ups the first day, and ended up with my abs screaming every time I tried to move! (And don't be fooled, I can't do a pull up.) I am also supposed to be following their diet, but I don't think a batch of dip is included, so I am opting out of that choice.

So we will see. I would love to have some definition in my arms, but it would definitely be easier if I had someone pushing me everyday. Mike came in while I was doing some sort of extreme cardio and told me I wasn't doing it the way that the people on the tv were. I yelled at him. I know, I am ashamed, but I was in so much pain, and he was standing there eating a cookie! He has learned to stay in the other room while the videos are on.

Moving right along to my next subject. I have a competitor in the blogging world! Ok, she doesn't know that we are competing, but she is really starting to irritate me. During law school, I found this girl's blog that I really liked. She has two children, is married to a surgery resident and seems to be perfect in every way. I have actually left comments on her blog and feel as though we have some sort of relationship that we clearly do not. Recently, I have been comparing myself to her. (Not the family stuff, just what she writes about.) First of all, I swear if I try to do something, she does it ten times better, and we always seem to try these things around the same time. Examples:
1) While I was training for my marathon, she decided she would train for one and of course, ran it much faster than me. (I am attributing this to longer legs, even though I have never met her.)
2) Recently I have gotten an inclination to cook and try new recipes. Of course, I click on her blog, and she has set out the recipe on how to bake bread and has pictures of bread she has baked (something like 12 loaves) that she gave out as Valentine's Day gifts!
3) Yesterday I checked her blog, and guess what she is now doing. Yes, you are correct. P90X. Are you kidding me?? I couldn't believe it. AND she is 3 days ahead of me. Ugh.

Mike doesn't understand why I am threatened by a girl I have never met. I tried to explain to him that it is like running on the treadmill at the gym and trying to go faster than the person beside you. He didn't get it. Does anyone else?

Alright, I am going to attempt to make it to the shower without further injuring myself. Hope all is well with you!