Taming Mags

I think at some point, everyone has likened their dog to Marley, in the great film, “Marley and Me.” But it has become a daily occurrence when either Mike or myself look at Mags and say, “What is wrong with you?!” Here is a follow up of what has been going on since I brought our little surprise home.

Oh, sweet Mags. You have been a part of our family for five months now. Never could we have imagined the joy and laughter that you have brought to our house, as well as the unconditional love. But let’s be honest. It hasn’t all been fun and games. You have tested our patience, and on more than one occasion made your father say, “Do that again and we are sending you back to the streets.” I don’t think that you MEAN to upset us. Your incessant chewing and eating must be a habit from when you were on the streets and scavenging food. However, your momma’s suede heels, special slippers and most recently, ENGAGEMENT RING, have us curious. What is wrong with you???

You are breaking the bank. Because you have no discretion in what you put in your mouth, we have visited the vet several times. You gave me quite a scare when the vet informed me that you might have cancer, but it turned out the MRI was wrong. The blood tests came back negative. We have bought so many toys for you, but they all end up in your stomach or strewn across our house. The girl at PetSmart told us you need the “extreme” toys, made for very large dogs. You are topping the charts at 22 pounds.

                You have so much energy, and perhaps you are alerting us of your boredom by chewing up or tearing apart everything in the house. We try to walk and exercise you but there are only so many hours in the day. So many people at the dog park have said to me, “Wow, your dog never gets tired, does he?” Or, “I can’t believe your dog isn’t scared to take on that German Shepard, Pittbull, (any other huge dog.) I don’t know why I was ever nervous that you would get hurt, and have developed a sense of pride when other owners stare at you in disbelief. Their dog may be a pure breed, but they could never compare with your tenacity and bravery. (Plus, I have yet to see a purebred with a tail as cute as yours!)

                You are a cuddler, and your dad has begun to call you Magnet because you are never more than a few inches away from me (even when I try to go to the bathroom.) I think he might be getting jealous and this doesn’t let me not get very much sleep. I put you in your cage the other night because you were being so disruptive. I woke up to this:

We are now calling you Houdini. I have no idea how you managed to break out of the metal cage, but no one ever said you aren’t determined.

                We put you in training classes two weeks ago. This had been talked about, but finally decided on when you decided to, “mark your territory” in both of your grandparents’ houses. More than once. I was a little worried about you in our first class because you don’t seem to focus very well in large groups. Once we got home, you showed us you could “sit” like a champ, but we still have a long way to go.

                You love to run, even away from us. If you see a chance to escape our house, you take it, even when it leads to me running after you in a soaking wet t-shirt and no shoes, cursing through the neighborhood. (We figured out you do better with baths inside.) You terrorize Lullabelle, and quite frankly, she hates you. I know you are just trying to play, but she does not enjoy being chased, jumped on, or having all her food eaten. She also does not appreciate that you have claimed her bed as your own when you have a perfectly nice one on the other side of the room. She has asked me to tell you to stop removing her excrement from the litter box and leaving them for us to find. No one likes that Mags. Not one person.

                But we love you, and I love to see how happy you make your dad. He loves to play with you, and it doesn’t matter if he is rough because you never seem to get hurt. The two of you have “accidentally” spilled red wine all over the furniture and me on several occasions because you were both so excited.

               We love you Mags, and can only begin to imagine what you have in store for us in the future!