I have been told not to say "y'all" at work anymore. If you live in the south, I ask you to try to remove this word from your vocabulary for an hour. It's impossible. I have grown up saying "y'all" and asking me to stop is incredibly hard. The reasoning behind this is because I "don't work at a honkey-tonk." Well, that was a little offensive. I was even more appalled when they told me what word I could use instead. "Folks." "Hi folks, how are you?' Doesn't that sound a little bit red neck?? The reasoning behind this is that we are supposed to use only gender neutral terms. Apparently, "Hey guys" is insulting because it insinuates that we are catering to a male crowd. Who knows. Regardless, I am not cutting y'all out of my vocabulary even though it appears that some customers don't understand it.
It seems that my combination of a southern accent and the fact that I am a fast talker makes it difficult for the customers to understand me. Don't ask me how many times I have been asked to repeat something, and don't even get me on the phone. It is a recipe for disaster since the caller can't attempt to read my lips. I asked a gentleman if I could get "all y'all's" plates out of the way the other evening. He was sitting by himself at the table, but had several children that were running around the restaurant and clearly done eating. He asked me who exactly I was addressing when I said, "All y'all." I tried to explain but eventually just gave up and cleared the plates.
Finally, a little anecdote. Sorry I write about this restaurant so much, but let's face it, that's all I do. Anyway, I worked my first Friday night shift a few days ago. I was doing well, holding my own, until I decided to venture outside my section and "help" my fellow servers. There were multiple drinks up at the bar, so I grabbed a tray and headed towards a table of about 6 kids and 4 moms. The moms were partaking in a little alcoholic stress relief while the children ran rampant. As I got to the table, one of the moms distracted me by commenting on my engagement ring. As I began to talk about the engagement, I slowly forgot that I had a tray full of drinks in my other hand. Then I realized there was an odd wailing sound coming from the ground. I looked under the table and noticed that I was stepping on a small child. I don't know why she was sitting on the ground and not her seat, but that threw me over the edge. I started to apologize for stepping on the kid and watched in slow motion as a Bud Light fell off the tray onto the child. I apologized profusely and then ran away. (Remember - this wasn't even my table!)
Later I looked over and the child had no shirt on while she ran around with her buddies. The mom ended up buying a t-shirt from our establishment to keep her child from being naked. I didn't really say anything until the end of the night when I asked the table's server how they had tipped. He said he did well, so I felt it ok to confess my small act of clumsiness. As one of my friends stated, at least it wasn't red wine!!
Monday, November 23, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
What Were You Protected From?
I have gotten into the bad habit of staying up late. Not 11 or 12 at night, but closer to 1:30 or 2. The problem is, I get in from work and want to wind down by watching a little t.v. before I go to bed. Before I know it, I have watched multiple DVRd shows and it is suddenly 2 am.
When we were growing up, watching tv was a revered activity. We were allowed one hour after school on PBS and then I was allowed to watch "Our House" on Sundays at 6 pm and Star Trek: The Next Generation with my parents. I don't remember anything about "Our House" except that it had Brenda from 90210 and the Quaker Oats guy in it. I will get back to the Star Trek issue. I was not allowed to watch cartoons. Each Saturday I would wake up, creep to my parents' door and knock while quickly asking, "Can we watch cartoons today?" I asked every Saturday, somehow thinking that this weekend would be the time that my mom and dad threw all their parenting beliefs out the window. But sometimes, when my parents were so exhausted, it actually did work, and my sister and I would let ourselves fall into the mystical worlds of magical ponies and Care Bears.
We read a lot growing up, which I think is a wonderful thing to instill in your child. I would still prefer to pick up a good novel than to flip through the tv with no idea of what will be on. The thing that we were allowed to do was watch movies. Usually once a week we would head to the local Movie Gallery where the three of us fought over which movie we would rent. I still am not sure why we were not allowed to watch cartoons when we were allowed to rent cartoon movies. But I was reminded of something the other night when I was up watching "Annie" at 2 am. My mother loves old musicals and would bring us "Oliver," "My Fair Lady" or "Annie" and attempt to convince us that this would be more interesting than watching "The Little Mermaid" for the 10th time. If we happened to give in, we would go home to watch a musical. We memorized the songs, and my best friend and I acted some of them out.
The funny thing is, I don't think that my mother's recollection of these movies was as clear as she believed. Have you seen "Oliver" lately? It is about a kidnapped orphan who spends his time in a bar with a whore and a killer. Ok, how about "Annie?" I was shocked the other night to see that the movie ends with Annie almost being pushed off an abandoned bridge! (And Ms. Hannigan is an alcoholic!) When I was younger, I remember thinking it was very odd that Carol Burnett was drinking all of her perfume throughout the movie. All I remembered from theses movies as a child were the songs. "The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow..!" And let us not forget that I was allowed to watch Star Trek instead of cartoons. Each of those cast members are armed and dangerous! Destroying planets and space ships were weekly occurrences. Was that better than Mickey Mouse?
I still give my parents a hard time about this. I get it - you don't want the television to be a babysitter, and inspiring creativity through reading is important, but my mom still can't give me an answer as to what was wrong with My Little Pony. On that note, I guess I am going to go read my book.
When we were growing up, watching tv was a revered activity. We were allowed one hour after school on PBS and then I was allowed to watch "Our House" on Sundays at 6 pm and Star Trek: The Next Generation with my parents. I don't remember anything about "Our House" except that it had Brenda from 90210 and the Quaker Oats guy in it. I will get back to the Star Trek issue. I was not allowed to watch cartoons. Each Saturday I would wake up, creep to my parents' door and knock while quickly asking, "Can we watch cartoons today?" I asked every Saturday, somehow thinking that this weekend would be the time that my mom and dad threw all their parenting beliefs out the window. But sometimes, when my parents were so exhausted, it actually did work, and my sister and I would let ourselves fall into the mystical worlds of magical ponies and Care Bears.
We read a lot growing up, which I think is a wonderful thing to instill in your child. I would still prefer to pick up a good novel than to flip through the tv with no idea of what will be on. The thing that we were allowed to do was watch movies. Usually once a week we would head to the local Movie Gallery where the three of us fought over which movie we would rent. I still am not sure why we were not allowed to watch cartoons when we were allowed to rent cartoon movies. But I was reminded of something the other night when I was up watching "Annie" at 2 am. My mother loves old musicals and would bring us "Oliver," "My Fair Lady" or "Annie" and attempt to convince us that this would be more interesting than watching "The Little Mermaid" for the 10th time. If we happened to give in, we would go home to watch a musical. We memorized the songs, and my best friend and I acted some of them out.
The funny thing is, I don't think that my mother's recollection of these movies was as clear as she believed. Have you seen "Oliver" lately? It is about a kidnapped orphan who spends his time in a bar with a whore and a killer. Ok, how about "Annie?" I was shocked the other night to see that the movie ends with Annie almost being pushed off an abandoned bridge! (And Ms. Hannigan is an alcoholic!) When I was younger, I remember thinking it was very odd that Carol Burnett was drinking all of her perfume throughout the movie. All I remembered from theses movies as a child were the songs. "The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow..!" And let us not forget that I was allowed to watch Star Trek instead of cartoons. Each of those cast members are armed and dangerous! Destroying planets and space ships were weekly occurrences. Was that better than Mickey Mouse?
I still give my parents a hard time about this. I get it - you don't want the television to be a babysitter, and inspiring creativity through reading is important, but my mom still can't give me an answer as to what was wrong with My Little Pony. On that note, I guess I am going to go read my book.
Monday, November 9, 2009
You Know You're Too Old When...
I am sitting at our kitchen table eating a Lean Cuisine and drinking wine. (Don't worry - that is not all I am going to eat...that is just all I have scavenged so far.) I had such a crappy day at work that I came home and starting calling people to see if they wanted to get a beer and some dinner with me. Too bad all three people I know up here have real jobs and are already in their pajamas. So, I opened a bottle of wine, (Mike is at school) and then got in trouble because I did not recognize that that specific bottle was bought in Iceland and we were saving it for a special occasion. Oops. I guess I am having my special occasion tonight!
This leads into the title of this post. You know you are too old to be waitressing when you come home from work and everyone you know is in their pajamas, or in bed. Additionally, I am a horrible waitress. I have only worked four days, but I get really frustrated when I can't pick things up right away, particularly when it is something that 18 year olds do on a regular basis.
I worked a double shift today. I made $14 at lunch (Yes, you read that correctly) and not much more at dinner. The problem is, I feel the need to make sure that entire restaurant is under control, and with that goes control of my section. We have a "team service" policy at the restaurant, which means that you never actually have a true server. One person may take your order, while another brings your food, and the last takes your check. I have a hard time letting go of controlling my tables and anyone elses, which leads to no one getting taken care of.
I got a lot of 10% tips tonight, and if you have been out to eat recently, that is not the norm. I would like to say that it is just a pizza place, but the place is run by the gestapo. Every little thing is an issue. "Is that coke halfway empty?" Must be filled. "How many napkins are on that table? There better not be more than the amount of people eating here." (I throw away a lot of napkins.)
So the whole thing about being too old for this...
1) You know you are too old to be a waitress when you work a double shift and then spend the next day in bed exhausted.
2) You are too old to be a waitress when your shins and feet are aching from the super cool black high tops you have worn for the past 6 hours.
3) My pet peeve - You know you are too old to be a waitress when 22 year olds come in and are snotty to you because Daddy's money is buying everything. Oh just wait, young ladies - Daddy will stop supporting you and you just might end up with an expensive degree working at a restaurant. I refused to go back to a table when some 20 something looked me up and down and then looked at her friend while I was serving them drinks. (Do you have any idea how hard it is to carry multiple glasses on a tray??)
And now I feel better. A few glasses of wine, and I am now on a bowl of noodles covered in ranch dressing. (Yum!!) I might just watch Heroes and head to bed. Thank goodness I have tomorrow off...Just remember....tip your servers, that could be you one day!!
This leads into the title of this post. You know you are too old to be waitressing when you come home from work and everyone you know is in their pajamas, or in bed. Additionally, I am a horrible waitress. I have only worked four days, but I get really frustrated when I can't pick things up right away, particularly when it is something that 18 year olds do on a regular basis.
I worked a double shift today. I made $14 at lunch (Yes, you read that correctly) and not much more at dinner. The problem is, I feel the need to make sure that entire restaurant is under control, and with that goes control of my section. We have a "team service" policy at the restaurant, which means that you never actually have a true server. One person may take your order, while another brings your food, and the last takes your check. I have a hard time letting go of controlling my tables and anyone elses, which leads to no one getting taken care of.
I got a lot of 10% tips tonight, and if you have been out to eat recently, that is not the norm. I would like to say that it is just a pizza place, but the place is run by the gestapo. Every little thing is an issue. "Is that coke halfway empty?" Must be filled. "How many napkins are on that table? There better not be more than the amount of people eating here." (I throw away a lot of napkins.)
So the whole thing about being too old for this...
1) You know you are too old to be a waitress when you work a double shift and then spend the next day in bed exhausted.
2) You are too old to be a waitress when your shins and feet are aching from the super cool black high tops you have worn for the past 6 hours.
3) My pet peeve - You know you are too old to be a waitress when 22 year olds come in and are snotty to you because Daddy's money is buying everything. Oh just wait, young ladies - Daddy will stop supporting you and you just might end up with an expensive degree working at a restaurant. I refused to go back to a table when some 20 something looked me up and down and then looked at her friend while I was serving them drinks. (Do you have any idea how hard it is to carry multiple glasses on a tray??)
And now I feel better. A few glasses of wine, and I am now on a bowl of noodles covered in ranch dressing. (Yum!!) I might just watch Heroes and head to bed. Thank goodness I have tomorrow off...Just remember....tip your servers, that could be you one day!!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
St. Louis Seasons
Right now seems the perfect time to tell you about the seasons in St. Louis. The leaves are turning, the weather is crisp and the sun is out. Sounds like a beautiful fall day, right? Don't be fooled. It is a beautiful fall day, but winter is coming, and it is coming soon.
Here's the deal. Birmingham, AL does not experience four seasons. We experience summer and fall. There are a few days of spring thrown in there that are always nice, and a few days when you need to grab your coat because it has gotten below 40 degrees. For the most part a heavy sweater and jeans will do. Oh yes, I owned wool pea coats, scarves and hats before I moved here, but let's be honest, it was all in the name of fashion. Did you know that scarves really were made for the purpose of keeping your neck warm?
Last winter was extremely difficult for me. I didn't know what to expect and when snow and ice started falling and the world did not stop I was horrified. If and when it snows in Birmingham, everyone lines up at the Piggly Wiggly to buy milk and bread and then either play in the snow or sit in their houses waiting for this tragedy to melt. Schools are cancelled. Work may be cancelled, and it is a perfectly legitimate excuse to call into work to tell them you are nervous about driving in the snow. (Keep in mind, the snow is usually about 1/2 an inch thick.)
Things are different up here. Last year I heard there was an ice storm headed to St. Louis, but I was still in the mindset of being in Alabama. Bad move. For some reason, I didn't have my car in the garage and when I woke up the next day, I found it covered in ice. On my way down to the car, I slipped on the ice covering the brick stairs and hit my head. However, I had to be at Pottery Barn Kids in less than 10 minutes and things were not looking good. I tried to shake my head out and headed carefully down to the car. When I say the car was covered in ice, I mean sheets of ice. Did I mention I didn't have an ice scraper? Even if I had, I don't know that it could have cut through at least an inch of ice that was on my windshield. Then I tried to get into the car. The freaking car was frozen shut! I had one leg up on the door while I yanked at the handle. When it finally popped open I jumped in and turned on the heat because, let's face it, I didn't have gloves on. (Disclaimer: my friend from Alabama was also trying to yank her car door open and the handle fell off. I am not the only one who had no idea what to do in this situation.)
I sat in the car and waited for the windshield to defrost. I waited. And waited. Nothing was happening because the ice was so thick. So I decided to use the old trick I learned in Alabama. I grabbed my driver's license and was headed out to scrape the windshield. (I know, it was stupid.) When I attempted to open the door, I realized I was now stuck INSIDE the car. I began panicking. (Keep in mind that my head was still cloudy from the incident on the stairs.) What in the world? I was now laying horizontally across my front seats trying to kick the door out. It worked. The driver's license trick didn't. When I got back in the car, I called my manager. She was annoyed that I was late and said to me, "Didn't you know there was an ice storm coming? It's been all over the news!?" Yes I knew. I just didn't recognize what a real ice storm meant.
When I finally got to work, my headache was getting worse and my eyes were fully dilated. I started crying (because that's what I do) and asked to go home. Again, manager not happy,but she let me leave. No one would let me drive because they were sure that I had a concussion, so I had to get a ride home with a co-worker that I had never met. I laid in the bed the rest of the day and tried to recover from my exhausting and terrifying morning.
So after that story can you see why I am dreading winter? I feel a little more prepared this year. I have scarves and boots that are made to keep me warm and I will never make the mistake of not parking in the garage again! People keep saying that since we had such a mild summer, the winter is going to be bad. What was last year??
I hope everyone had a wonderful Halloween and try to stay warm as the winter sets in!!
Here's the deal. Birmingham, AL does not experience four seasons. We experience summer and fall. There are a few days of spring thrown in there that are always nice, and a few days when you need to grab your coat because it has gotten below 40 degrees. For the most part a heavy sweater and jeans will do. Oh yes, I owned wool pea coats, scarves and hats before I moved here, but let's be honest, it was all in the name of fashion. Did you know that scarves really were made for the purpose of keeping your neck warm?
Last winter was extremely difficult for me. I didn't know what to expect and when snow and ice started falling and the world did not stop I was horrified. If and when it snows in Birmingham, everyone lines up at the Piggly Wiggly to buy milk and bread and then either play in the snow or sit in their houses waiting for this tragedy to melt. Schools are cancelled. Work may be cancelled, and it is a perfectly legitimate excuse to call into work to tell them you are nervous about driving in the snow. (Keep in mind, the snow is usually about 1/2 an inch thick.)
Things are different up here. Last year I heard there was an ice storm headed to St. Louis, but I was still in the mindset of being in Alabama. Bad move. For some reason, I didn't have my car in the garage and when I woke up the next day, I found it covered in ice. On my way down to the car, I slipped on the ice covering the brick stairs and hit my head. However, I had to be at Pottery Barn Kids in less than 10 minutes and things were not looking good. I tried to shake my head out and headed carefully down to the car. When I say the car was covered in ice, I mean sheets of ice. Did I mention I didn't have an ice scraper? Even if I had, I don't know that it could have cut through at least an inch of ice that was on my windshield. Then I tried to get into the car. The freaking car was frozen shut! I had one leg up on the door while I yanked at the handle. When it finally popped open I jumped in and turned on the heat because, let's face it, I didn't have gloves on. (Disclaimer: my friend from Alabama was also trying to yank her car door open and the handle fell off. I am not the only one who had no idea what to do in this situation.)
I sat in the car and waited for the windshield to defrost. I waited. And waited. Nothing was happening because the ice was so thick. So I decided to use the old trick I learned in Alabama. I grabbed my driver's license and was headed out to scrape the windshield. (I know, it was stupid.) When I attempted to open the door, I realized I was now stuck INSIDE the car. I began panicking. (Keep in mind that my head was still cloudy from the incident on the stairs.) What in the world? I was now laying horizontally across my front seats trying to kick the door out. It worked. The driver's license trick didn't. When I got back in the car, I called my manager. She was annoyed that I was late and said to me, "Didn't you know there was an ice storm coming? It's been all over the news!?" Yes I knew. I just didn't recognize what a real ice storm meant.
When I finally got to work, my headache was getting worse and my eyes were fully dilated. I started crying (because that's what I do) and asked to go home. Again, manager not happy,but she let me leave. No one would let me drive because they were sure that I had a concussion, so I had to get a ride home with a co-worker that I had never met. I laid in the bed the rest of the day and tried to recover from my exhausting and terrifying morning.
So after that story can you see why I am dreading winter? I feel a little more prepared this year. I have scarves and boots that are made to keep me warm and I will never make the mistake of not parking in the garage again! People keep saying that since we had such a mild summer, the winter is going to be bad. What was last year??
I hope everyone had a wonderful Halloween and try to stay warm as the winter sets in!!
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