On Being Brave

What does it mean to be brave?

When we are little, the doctor asks us if we can "be brave," just for a second while he/she pricks our finger. In that situation, being brave has no repercussions. Either you sit quietly and wince as the needle stabs you, or you scream before, during and after the needle pierces your finger. It really doesn't matter. The doctor gets your blood and you get to head back to the sandbox without another thought. We don't really understand what being brave is, because at that age, we don't really have that much to lose.

As we get older, "being brave" is a little scarier. Maybe you are trying out for the dance team, calling the cute girl/boy in your class or applying to colleges. At the time, all of these events seem life altering. And while you are probably not significantly changing the trajectory of your life by deciding whether or not to enroll in the school talent show, you are learning valuable life lessons. You are learning to step out of your comfort zone, even when it is scary, and realize that YOU are going to be alright, even if things don't go the way that you were hoping.

I tried out for the basketball team in 7th grade only because my best friend did not want to try out alone. I had no business even attempting to launch a ball towards that basket, but I was brave, and made it through the first day of practice. Surprisingly, I was not invited to attend the second day of  tryouts. What I learned was, I am not a good basketball player. Sports are not my strong point, and there was no point in me pursuing a career in the WNBA. But, I also learned how it feels to be told no, and how important it is to be flexible and have a back up plan. (I was brave a lot and tried out piano, cheerleading, softball and swimming. Sometimes it takes awhile to figure out exactly which path is yours.)

There are so many phrases we throw out suggesting that being brave is an easy thing to do. "The worst thing they can say is no." "The worst thing that can happen is you don't get "it"." "What's the worst that can happen???" When we are all grown up, being brave is HARD. The worst that can happen is that you can lose your financial security, your mortgage, your family. The stakes are high and sometimes we get so wrapped up in the stakes that we forget about what we learned in middle school. If you are brave, even when it is scary, you are going to be alright.

I write this because exactly one week ago, I resigned from my job. Effective immediately. I had been struggling with this decision for months, but was so bogged down with the logistics of how we were going to pay our bills and keep our health insurance that I was scared to lose the stability of a monthly check. I was so scared to lose this that my health was beginning to suffer. I was angry, tired and stressed out, which didn't make me, or anyone around me happy. I noticed one day when I came home from work that I snapped at the dog for jumping on me because he was happy to see me. And that's just not fair. It's not fair to my husband, my pets or to me. The job I was in wasn't a good fit for ME, and somewhere along the line, I had forgotten that there are other paths to explore.

As soon as I hit send on my resignation email, I truly felt as though a weight had been lifted off of me. When I woke up the next morning, instead of stumbling to the shower and grumbling at Mike to JUST STOP TALKING, I was happy. I was singing. I was annoyingly optimistic. I had an entire day full of opportunities in front of me that had been hiding under all the fear.

I am not suggesting that you throw all caution to the wind, quit your job and figure out the plan later. Mike and I have a plan, which makes all of this just a little less scary.

So today, I challenge you to be brave.

As Sheryl Sandberg says, "What would you do if you weren't afraid?"